*BREAKING NEWS FLASH*
We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog entry to bring you this important news report. We have just received news that the FART Forces have broken through the perimeter of Fortress Biggie late last night. We bring you now live to Supreme Commander Silent's address already in progress...
*cameras light the podium*
"Thank you everyone. As you may have heard, certain elements of the FART have infiltrated the Fortress. Last night at 2300 hours, guards reported a mouse performing reconnaissance within the perimeter. The defenses were alerted and the appropriate action was taken. Human defense forces planted a Strategically Baited Trap, or SBT, in the last known area of the FART presence. The trap was successful in capturing the enemy agent. As of 0445 this morning, the Fortress was ordered to stand down from high alert. Any questions?"
*voice from background*
Commander, do you expect any further attacks from the FART?
"We believe this was the opening elements of a further offensive, yes."
*another voice off camera*
What measures are you taking to ensure the safety of the humans inside the Fortress?
"As of 0800 this morning, I was given authorization by the Dept of Treasury, Denise, to obtain additional weaponry to defend the Fortress. These items include, but are not limited to: Adhesive Deterrents, SBTs, Pellet Guns, and Poison Gas."
What have you done with the captured agent?
"The mouse had been critically wounded by the SBT, and subsequently died of his wounds. His body was disposed of by the Tree, in accordance with standard human protocols. Any futher questions."
Has the current administration given up on negotiations with FART?
"The current administration believes as I do, there is no negotiating with rodents. All attempts at communication were effectively ignored by the FART leaders. Let me be clear in this...we are at war here. Humanity must stand united against the rodent menace. That is all. No further questions. Thank you."
*random background comments*
*camera back on reporter*
That was Supreme Commander Silent Warrior, leader of the Human Defense Forces at Fortress Biggie, explaining the recent action seen just last night. We now bring you to our Washington bureau for additional analysis...
*END TRANSMISSION*
posted by Silentwarrior @ 6:36 AM
9 Comments:
Roadside mouse turds will be an unexpected and difficult-to-combat weapon in the coming FARTist insurgency. Our troops are going to war without proper shoes!
Sorry. Just running with the routine.
LOL!
Funny as hell that you posted that... some of their comrades are taking actions here.
The bats and meece are gone, the hornets still without a solid foothold. But those damn gophers...
I was in the middle of writing about their underground hospitals when I came across this.
T1G, do you now see that the FART menace is far-reaching!? We need to spread the word! I officially invite you to join the Human Defense Forces! Long live humanity!
Their floater cells are everywhere!
Wait. Back up. Did you really bury him under a tree? Like a pet?! LOL!
Yes. Its his Tree O' Death. Trust me though. There are no wooden crosses found at the base of the tree. But it is certainly well fertilized.
**UPDATE**
Another mouse was critically wounded by the SBT, burial will be later this morning. The fight is not over, since one of the Adhessive Deterrents mysteriously moved from its original point of origin. There were remnants of mouse hair on the AD. Silent will once again be staging his weaponry this evening.
**SIDENOTE** I miss my cat right about now.
I don't know. I think y'all should think about cutting off the heads and placing them on pikes to warn off all the other rat bastards. Heh. Just a thought!
Tree 'o death. Holy crap that's funny.
Bou, now that would be ...... cruel?? Besides, I am not certain it would even work. Heck, there was a mouse dead in one of the traps. I bet his buddy came and ate all the bait with the body just layin there. They don't scare easily. LOL
Just wait til you hear the next chronicle of Silent catching a mouse buck naked. LOL
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