Ramblings of an Ordinary

2010-10-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

A Taste...

The summer has come and gone. I didn't notice. I can't believe it's been almost 6 months since returning to the states. Half a year. Mathematically speaking, I should be wearing black and comforting my son.

That hasn't happened. This is a good thing. Her cancer hasn't stopped. More like it's slowed to a crawl.

The wife's cancer spread during this time. It went to her skin, her bones, her brain, and her spinal cord. She has had a stroke and lost control over half her face. She has persistent pain in her shoulder, her abdomen, and there is some sort of weird lump under her arm in a lymph node. There has been a tremor developing so bad that she can't even hold a cup of coffee.

All day, every day, she is in pain. She has no strength to enjoy any activities. So depression sets in. With lack of activities, her strength is sapped as well.

But she's alive. That's what matters.

We see her friends and family. There is not a moment where pity isn't reflected in their eyes. They all love to offer help and support. Yet most of the time, it's just pretty words. That's okay, I understand. It's not a comfortable thing to deal with. A nice hollow offer of support, then...nothing, is the standard thing to do. Don't feel guilty. Those who actually do something are the rarity.

I'm supposed to be helping with recruiting for the Marine Corps. High school teenagers with their self-centered sense of entitlement make me sick. I have no patience for those children. I have no patience for anyone anymore. This illness has shown me that in the end, there are only a few people to trust. We are inevitably alone.

I've begun to seek the sweet numbness located at the bottom of a beer bottle. Screw this world. Screw this life.

Friends? What friends?

Family? None of mine bother.

Job? Yeah right.

This story will end with my son and I alone in this world, dealing with the void left by Denise. No sense in sugar-coating this shit. Yes I have become bitter. So what?

You will read this and move to the next web page. Carry on reader. You don't need to stick around waiting for the train wreck.

2010-10-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

Memories...Part 2

0830 Central Standard Time
April 30th 2010
Somewhere between Chicago and Green Bay

The clouds pass the small window of the Embraer RJ145 aircraft. Their hypnotic motions reflect the already clouded mind of the tired Marine. It's been almost 50 hours since that meeting in the company office in the Afghanistan desert. He hasn't slept. There have been countless flights between then and now. This is it, the last flight.

"Sir, are you done with your drink?"

The Marine looks up to the pretty flight attendant with a confused look. Drink? What drink? He looks down. Water. Did he ask for that? His mind is throbbing. He picks up the cheap plastic cup and slams the water.

"Yeah, thank you ma'am." The water brings a little clarity back. He looks down as he hands the glass away. He's still in his dirty desert-patterned utilities. ("desert digis") The uniform feels greasy. Stupid. There is still dust and grime from Afghanistan covering him. He should have remembered to put his set of civilian clothes in his day pack. He should have had time to buy clothes at an airport. No time. He's literally run from one plane to another. He has to get home.

The plane lands on schedule in Green Bay. He's back in his home state. The weary man picks up his dusty pack, places it on his shoulders and walks out of the plane. Ignoring the stares from the fellow passengers, he walks to the baggage claim. There will be no bags waiting for him. He had to leave them back at Camp Dwyer for Supply. Someone shakes his hand. Thank you. It shames him. He doesn't deserve that. He didn't do anything.

In the baggage area he picks a car rental company at random. It doesn't matter. He'll only need the car for one day. The Sergeant drives to the Reserve Center to check in. Handshakes and welcome backs. The place, once familiar, seems strange and unreal. Is he really back? How did he get here? He looks at his watch. Time to go. He has an hour and a half drive back home. If he wants to make it back in time.

His wife has an appointment at the hospital and finds out how bad the cancer is at 1100 hours. It is now 0915. He can make it. He has no phone and when he tried calling her at the Reserve Center, there was no answer at her workplace.

He begins to drive. His eyes are heavy. His mind feels dull. The car begins to slow down to a stop. Reality snaps into focus. He's in his home town and a streetlight has turned red. How the hell did that happen? He can't remember the hour and half drive home. He looks at the clock in the dashboard...1030. Made good time.

With no keys, no phone, and no contact with his wife, he doesn't know if she's already left to go to the hospital. With a deep breath, he makes a small detour and pulls into the driveway of his in-laws. Surprised looks. Hugs. The Sergeant asks for information regarding his wife. Finds out she is heading home. Good. A wave to the in-laws and he's on the road again.

As he drives closer to his house, the fear and worrying begin to charge him. He feels like a stranger.

Three blocks away...

Nothing has changed while he's been gone.

Two blocks away...

What is he going to say to her? What will she say to him?

One block away...

There is his home! Her car is in the driveway! His heart is beating through his chest. He parks across the street so as not to block her car in. There is an appointment after all.

Home...

The Marine slowly walks to his home. Climbs the steps as he's done thousands of times before in another life. The door is open. Through the screen door he sees his wife. She is the most beautiful woman he's seen. He raises his hand and knocks softly on the door.

His wife is startled by the noise and looks to the door in alarm.

"Oh my god" she chokes out. She stands there in shock.

The tired husband opens the door, drops his pack, walks forward, and embraces his wife.

"I made it hon, I'm home" he whispers into her ear. He can feel her arms tighten around him. "Everything will be all right..."

With that, the pent-up emotions in the poor woman release. He can feel her sobs shuddering through their hug.

The Marine stands tall. He hasn't slept in two days. He's left the battlefield and crossed the planet for this woman. She will be safe with him. He will protect her and help her in this fight. He will stand by her side no matter what.

He looks into her eyes.

"Let's go to the hospital. It's time..."

2010-10-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

Memories...Part 1

0930 Local Time / 0500 Zulu
April 27th 2010
Location: Camp Dwyer, Garmsir District, Afghanistan

The Marine Sergeant sits on the rickety field bench made out of wooden shipping pallets. Light grey dust covering everything, his boots, his fire-resistant desert cammies, everything. The sun beats down on his neck as the roar of 7-tons and MRAPs cut through the morning silence. A bead of sweat falls from his dirty forehead into his eyes. It stings. He can't feel it. His eyes are already burning. In his hands rest the letter he received. It's from his wife back in the states.

He adjusts his rifle as he reaches into his cargo pocket. The bench creaking under his weight. He pulls a cigarette out, lights it, and takes a long drag. He reads the letter again to make sure.
"...turns out the lump I had biopsied was cancer. I'm scheduled for a CT scan to find out how bad it is next week."

"Cancer!" He spits into the dust. The sand swallowing up the moisture immediately. "Fuck!" he whispers.

The Sergeant's mind is supposed to be on creating the manifest for the next convoy, but the news has him shaken. For the past two days he's been out on a mission. No access to phones, no contact with the outside world. Now that he's got a moment, he's gotta think. This letter was his silent companion during the mission.

"Sergeant?"

He shoves the crumpled letter back into his pocket and looks up. A dirt covered Lance Corporal is staring at him.

"The First Sergeant wants you to get over to the company office right now!" he quickly blurts as he turns and runs back to the line of trucks.

"Fuck!" He stabs the half smoked cigarette into the dirt. "What a waste..." he says to nobody. He stands up, drapes his M4 across his back, grabs his cover and places it on his sweaty head. He starts his slow trot across the dirty motor pool. The brightness of the sun reflects off the aptly-named "moondust", making it brighter than any Wisconsin winter. Pulling out his sunglasses and slipping them on quickly, he looks around.

"Fuck this place" he mutters. The rocky sand kicks up large puffs of dust with every step.

The company office is just a plywood shack at the entrance to the motor pool. Some wires running to it and the addition of a couple of flags make it look important. The guidons hang limply at the entrance, cooking in the desert heat. The Marine opens the door and walks in.

He takes his sunglasses and cover off and allows his eyes to adjust to the lower light. His friend is waiting for him. The air is stale, but it's slightly cooler in here.

"Dude, they're in there." gesturing to the back room with the door closed. "What the hell did you do?!"

That door is never closed. Not a good sign.

"Dunno Roach. Guess I'll find out." He pats Roach on the shoulder and walks into the room. Inside there is the entire chain of command going up to the Battalion level.

The Marine closes the door behind him, walks to the middle of the room briskly and snaps to attention.

"Sergeant Bigback reporting as ordered!" He keeps his eyes level. Stare at that random knot of wood. Don't move. Wait.

The Captain stands up and walks toward him. There is a piece of paper in his hand.

"Read this Sergeant."

"Aye sir." He takes the paper and looks at it. It is a piece of paper with the Red Cross logo across the top. He doesn't have to read it. He knows what it is. He catches bits of text here and there.

The doctors have requested his presence back in the states to be with his wife due to the lung cancer. They felt it was important enough to send a Red Cross message to his chain of command and call him back.

"You realize that this means you're going home right?" the Captain says sternly.

"Sir?"

"We are not in the habit of keeping Marines from their loved ones in their time of need. In fact, I'm going to have you call her right now to verify her state." as he hands the Sgt a phone. "Dial that number to get a stateside operator"

A few minutes later he's talking to his wife. She doesn't know how bad the cancer is. Just that it's lung cancer. She says that she'll find out on the 30th. He tries to get more information about her status, but all she wants to do is tell him how much she misses him and how scared she is. The Sgt presses the issue and gets a quick answer. The officers in the room seem satisfied.

"Sergeant, you are leaving...right NOW. You have 30 minutes to pack your things and report to the flight line! Staff Sergeant! Make sure he gets a ride and turns in his ammo and weapon! LT, call Battalion and have them draft emergency orders. He'll pick them up at Leatherneck!"

A chorus of "Aye sirs" ring out. Everyone stands up and starts moving at once. The Captain looks the Sergeant in the eye and shakes his hand.

"Good luck son. Go home. Take care of her. Let us know if you need anything"

"Yes sir, thank you sir."

With that...the Sergeant leaves...

Thus ends his tour of duty in Afghanistan. Not a triumphant completion of duty with his Marines, the men who shed sweat and blood together for all these months. No, he leaves alone with a piece of paper and an unknown world in front of him. People need him elsewhere. Yet he can't help but feel that he's just abandoned his boys.

2010-10-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

I'm Back...

Yes, I went to the deserts of Afghanistan. Spent a month there, did missions. Whatever.

Was called back when it was discovered that my wife has Stage IV Non-small cell lung cancer. Diagnosis date was April 30th.

Since then I've been working as a recruiter in our town to allow me to stay on Active Duty while I take care of her.

Her cancer spread to her bones, her skin, brain, and spine. Yes it sucks, but we are fighting it. I'm worried though, this last week has been particularly rough after this last round of radiation.

I want her to feel better. I hate seeing her in so much pain.

Life sucks.

2009-12-24T03:51:00.000-08:00

Out of the Office...

I'm sorry, the Marine you are looking for has been deployed with America's Finest, the United States Marine Corps, to parts unknown, for an unknown amount of time. Thank you for stopping in. If you would like to contact this Marine, please click on the Facebook link, and leave a message.

2009-10-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

Follow the further adventures of Corporal Bigback here:

http://www.facebook.com/jbigback

See you there friends.

2009-05-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

Update...

The young man leans against the grey cinder block wall. Taking a slow drag from a cigarette, he looks around cautiously. Slow exhale...adjusting the rifle hanging from his shoulder...

"Damn..."

2009-01-05T18:31:00.000-08:00

Resolutions...

It is a new year. Of course everyone is obliged to have New Year's resolutions for some reason or another. Therefore, even though I am near perfect in my own eyes, I resolve to do the following this year...

1) I resolve to bring my bathroom up to at least 1970's style. Nothing says "Great Depression" like the radiator in the old wooden box.

2) I resolve to be a better husband. I've sorta been coasting on this one lately. This is the year to rev up the engines and remind her that I'm her handsome sumbitch loverboy! Git some!

3) I resolve to pace myself on the cheeseburgers this year. Please note, I did not say "give up". I figure if I pace myself to maybe...three or four a week, I should be good. Cheeseburgers are like my kryptonite made of crack. My biggest weakness, but very addictive.

4) I resolve to dance naked to techno at least once this upcoming year. Umm...nuf said bout that.

5) I resolve to get my 300 PFT this year. I'll be 30, and the 300 just looks damn symmetrical next to it. It was meant to be dammit!

6) I resolve not to work out more...but to work out smarter. Going till vomit or blackouts will no longer fly. I'm not as young as I once was. Well, maybe just once in awhile won't hurt...

7) I resolve to be the best god-damned motivated leatherneck'd jarhead Marine shit-kicker ever seen in this hemisphere. (resolution not valid in Eastern and Southern hemispheres, void where prohibited)

8) I resolve to continue this blog for yet another year. Because mediocrity and mundanity need a place to chill. Woah, did I just use those two big "m" words in a sentence?! SWEEET!

So there you have them, my resolutions. Will I be a better person this year? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But at least this year I start out with chevrons on my shoulder, a healthy son, loving wife, and a warm home. Better would be nice, but what I already have is pretty good too.

Thanks for stopping in.

2008-12-16T21:07:00.001-08:00

Motivation...

2008-12-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

Workout Bugs...

Okay, I'm going back to workout in the evenings because I'm a motivated Devildog. Ooh-rah! Not to mention I find the prospect of getting anything lower than a high first class PFT appalling.

I understand that I'm not the only person in that gym. I KNOW that. Alright? I know it's not mine and it's a privilege, blah blah blah! But there are some things that downright piss me the fuck off!

Here are a few of them in no particular order:

1) Out of all the empty lockers in the locker room, that slimy little douchebag has to set up shop right next to your naked ass. Then he has to hurry and get naked, only to take his sweet time getting dressed.

2) The sauna takes a long time to heat up. It's not some magical wooden box that magically and instantaneously becomes hot. No fuckstick...there is a tiny-ass heating element under them there rocks that heats the whole room. I turn it on when I start my workout so it's nice and toasty when I finish in an hour. Leaving the damn door open or cranking the knob all the way around so it'll start heating in 8 fucking hours DOES NOT MAKE IT HOT!!

3) Muscleheads, staring at yourself in the mirror is a sign of extreme narcissism. It's alright when you need to watch your form, but when you just stand there jaw agape, staring at your own reflection for several minutes...it makes you look like an idiot.

4) Speaking of staring...yes the woman on the stair stepper is hot. We all see her and she has made it very obvious she wants to be seen. Walking in front of her ten times in three minutes while staring at her is downright ass-tastic. Knock it off! You're playing right into her hands. It's a friggin reverse of number 3.

5) Ignoring the huge sign up sheet for treadmills and running on the fucker for one hour at a nice slow 3 MPH trot is NOT working out. It's being a mill hog. I hope you trip and launch yourself into the wall. You want to run a marathon, go outside and run Forrest run!

6) See those barbells? Yeah they're not eggs and you're not the mother hen. You don't need the entire collection surrounding you to do ONE set of exercises. Didn't you learn to share in kindergarten?!

7) If I'm working out, minding my own business, please don't come up to me and suggest a better way. I don't care if you read in some magazine that so-and-so does it this way, so I should as well. Leave me alone. You're almost three hundred pounds and wheezing. If I need eating advice, I'll consult you. Until then, get your wheezing ass on an elliptical.

8) Speaking of magazines. If you can read one while working out...YOU AREN'T WORKING HARD ENOUGH! If you are going to take the time to do something, why can't you do it to the best of your abilities? Focus, put in an effort, and reap the benefits. It's that easy.

9) When you get out of the pool, the sauna is NOT a place to warm up because your nuts shrivelled in the cold. It took me over an hour to get the heat built up. Yet you, your buddy, his kid, and whoever the hell else, cram their smelly asses into the sauna and stand around like jackasses. Then they all leave at the same time...taking all the heat with them and leaving a nice bleachy smell behind. Thanks guys.

10) Finally, if you are going to take a shower, please remember...it is not your shower at home. Please don't blow snot all over the place, or clean that deep crevasse that you missed earlier with your hand, and if you are gonna piss in the shower, at least TRY to hide it. You don't have to hold your junk and stare at it as you piss all over the wall. You're disgusting and I pity the poor soul who has to clean up after you.

Alright, that's enough complaining. Just thought I would get it all off my chest. Carry on.

2008-12-13T20:40:00.000-08:00

Conversations of the Self...

Self, you know...things are getting better.

How so?

Well, for one you're back in the Corps. You've always wanted to do that.

True.

Another, you're still in shape.

Yeah...

The family is doing great.

Yes they are.

There's only one thing I wish you would do.

What's that self?

Would you PLEASE get someone to fix that goddamned faucet in the bathroom!? It's driving me nuts!

Oh...uh sure...lemme get right on it.

...

........

You're not going to do it are you.

Um...maybe later.

Goddammit.

2008-12-11T20:04:00.000-08:00

Marine Reserve Drill - Day 4

I'm surrounded by young Marines in a large gymnasium-like room. A dozen cafeteria tables line the center. Each occupied by groups of four to five. Lance Corporals and PFCs over here...Corporals over there...Sergeants there. They all seem to know one another.

I sit off to the side and watch.

It's not that I don't want to join them. I'm just taking it all in. I still can't believe I'm back in. I look down in front of me, my partially disassembled rifle laying on its side.

I pick up the lower receiver and rest the pistol grip in the palm of my hand. My fingers curl around it gently. The heft is oddly comforting to me. Why? I pick up a rag and start wiping it down.

It's so clean...so smooth...

The sweet and bitter smell of the CLP rises to my nose and I close my eyes briefly. Memories of armories in Parris Island, San Diego, and Camp Pendleton flash in my mind. I remember the faces of people I haven't thought of in almost a decade. I wonder whatever happened to them...

I start to reassemble my rifle...lost in the corridor of my memories. I'm smiling. Perhaps a little too much. A Sergeant who looks to be almost five years younger than me walks by and gives me a "What the fuck you so happy bout?!"

I'm ready to answer but he's already ten feet away. Oh well.

I take the Q-tip and run it along the inside of the assembly. It comes back spotless. Ahhh...perfection... I reassemble it quickly and test the action. It clicks and slides smoothly. The feel of my rifle is like an old friend. A part of my soul that has been missing. My body remembers it. It yearns to slide into a firing position and send some rounds downrange. I bring it to my shoulder and point to to the ceiling just for the feel. No...not yet...I gotta wait. It drops down to my chest.

Lifting my head, I look around. The crowd around me carries on. Each table with their own attitude, their own world. Their own conversations...friendships...families. Yet each of us, bonded together for a common purpose... So much strength is here with me. I'm honored and humbled just to be here....wearing this uniform...caressing this weapon...

"Anyone sitting here?"

My reverie is broken by another Corporal in my platoon. I look up and motion for him to sit. As he does, three other Marines join us.

"Jesus, you looked lost there dude!" one of them says.

Giving a big smile, I place the buttstock of my rifle on the table and immediately begin disassembling my rifle again. "No, just happy to be here."

They start laughing. "Yeah right!"

Yes, a good joke. The rifle is in pieces again in front of me. I notice a fleck of something on the inside. Hmmm...I guess it could use another cleaning...

2008-11-14T20:56:00.000-08:00

Marine Reserve Drill - Day 1
PART ONE

The windshield wipers struggle to keep up with the rain as the Tracker speeds down the dark interstate. Slower traffic slips past as the man quickly looks to his directions, then the clock...the road...his speed...then back to the road.

It's cold, and I'm going to be late for my first formation. Not good.

Thankfully, I arrive at the strange park with 10 minutes to spare. I find a space in the crowded parking lot and turn off the engine. Looking outside the windshield, I see the dark shadows of people milling around. With a deep breath in, I step outside...to the freezing rain.

I check my uniform and go to the back of my car. With cold weather like this, I'm going to need to put my sweater on under my cammies. Before I get a chance to reach for it, I hear a loud voice in the distance call out, "If you're not in formation you're LATE! Move it Marines!"

Shit! I slam my door shut and run off to the first group of people. They are already calling out last names. Remembering what the First Sergeant told me, I am to find the Fourth Platoon. I tap the random stranger's shoulder next to me. "Hey, where's Fourth Platoon at?"

"Up there." he replies as he points to another random group of camo-clad Marines.

"Thanks!" I say as I jog over to the other formation. The rain is soaking through my clothes. It's at this point, I realize that it's not only raining, but windy as well. This is going well...I'm late and lost.

I jump at the back of poorly organized formation. The guys are all having their own conversations. It's hard to hear anything. I start to shiver. Damn it's cold! It's so dark I can barely make out facial features. There are no street lights on. Everyone has morphed into faceless masses with varying height and voices. I hear something faintly from the front, "If you didn't hear your name called, come up here and let me know."

I step out and push my way through the people mobbing the sides of our formation. By the time I reach the front, the people that were walking around have disappeared. Goddammit! I scan around and see nobody that looks official. I sigh and walk to the back of the formation. When I find a nice spot, I stand there. A tall Marine looks down at me quizzically.

Yeah buddy, I know what you're thinking..."who the fuck are you?!"

I just keep my eyes forward. There will be plenty of time to give a damn about these people later. Right now, I just need to focus on staying warm. I relax into the cold as the shivering starts to rack my body. Don't think about it...just relax...it'll be over soon.

A moving dark mass in the front starts to talk...it's hard to make out what he's saying...

"...alright... get going... fall out and...make sure you...then we'll...after that...good to go?!"

"Ooh-Rah" the Marines in the first squad, closest to him yell.

Oh now what the fuck was that all about? I guess I'll just follow along wi-

"BATTALION Ayeuh-ten-hoo!" I snap to attention. "When I give you the command to fall out, fall out and form up on your designated areas! FALL OUT!"

The mob of cammies start moving toward the soccer field in front of us. A small generator powered light comes on and the grass is dimly illuminated. I stick to my platoon like glue.

In the dark, I'm just another faceless member of the mob. Nice and safe.

Everyone separates and goes in different directions. I pick a group of guys that look they know what they're doing. We start forming into lines in front of a WM (female Marine) with a very warm looking Gore-Tex on. She starts talking in a soft voice. Apparently giving instructions on what we're doing.

"What's this called officially again?" I ask the nearest person.

"CFT, the Combat Fitness Test. Some stupid shit if you ask me.." Noticing my collar, "Corporal."

I nod my head and turn my attention back to the WM. She's taken the first poor soul in line and is walking him slowly through the course.

A quick run down about 20 yards...then running around a small cone backwards. He drops to his face and starts low crawling.

"Ay-YUT! GET SOME!" a loud Marine in the front bellows. He turns to his friend and snickers, "What a dumbass." His friends start laughing.

I look closer at these guys in the dim light...they are all Sergeants. Oh great, THESE are my NCOs! I sigh a little and tighten my arms to my sides a little harder. The pressure keeps the warmth a little more. The wind whips around us, cutting straight through my cammies. Wish I had my sweater right now...

"Oh fuck this, I'm not going next!" the loud Sgt proclaims, then falls out to the back of the line. His three buddies follow. Now I'm third from the front.

I look down to the other side of the field. The Marine is running a weaving pattern from small cone to small cone. In the dim light, I see another line of Marines on the other side. Hmmm...when did they get there?

The first one in that line drops to the ground. The running Marine goes up to him and picks him up under his arms and starts to drag him around the cones. When he reaches the halfway point, he stops, reaches down and picks up his casualty. He "fireman carries" the guy at a slow run back to our line.

I hear him breathing hard as he reaches down and picks up two small ammo cans. The WM instructs him to start running down the course again.

"Oh fuck this..." the Marine up front shakes his head and walks back to the end of the line.

"Hang on dude, I'm coming with you! No way I'm fucking doing this next!" The second Marine leaves.

Now I'm first in line.

...shit...fucking cowards....

I shake my arms out, twist my neck a little, and take a deep breath in...

The Marine arrives back to our line, panting. He drops the ammo cans. I feel my heart beating a little faster. Oh shit...my turn!

"Next one, you're up!" the WM calls out to me.

With a slow jog, I make my way to the first cone.

"Now J-hook around the cone and start low crawling" she instructs.

I drop to the ground and start crawling quickly.

"OOH-RAH MOTIVATOR! GET SOME RAMBO!" The loud Sgt in my line yells.

Yeah fuck you, you fucking coward...at least I'm out here you big pussy!

"Now modified high crawl" the WM reminds. I comply and move forward. "On your feet. Now dodge and weave around the cones."

I feel kinda silly as I run around the staggered cones. What the fuck is this supposed to test?! As I reach the end of course I see my casualty drop. Good, looks like a light-weight.

I pick him up under his arms and start dragging him. "So far so good" my mind tells me. One cone, turn...pull, next cone, turn...pull....next cone...turn...pull...

"Now Fireman's Carry." she says.

"Which shoulder you want me on?" my casualty asks.

Mustering all the bravado I can, I smile at him and smack my right shoulder. "This one should do" I reach down and pull him up. "All comfy?"

"Yeah, let's do it!" he laughs back.

I run back to my original line. The loud fuckers are laughing and having a good ol time. Hope they enjoy the fucking show.

"Okay, now grab your ammo cans-" she starts.

"ALRIGHT MARINES, TIME TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT STATION!" a loud voice from nowhere yells.

We start to mob toward the street. After a brief rest, we are told to run down to the end of the street, then run back. Very simple.

"GO!"

I take a slow pace. Immediately I notice how tired carrying that other dude has made me. Running is a little harder than I thought. Yet, somehow, I'm still in the middle of the pack...

Reaching the turn-around point I'm greeted with the wind that was with us as it blasts me in the face. Shit! My nose starts to run a little. Gotta keep my pace!

I start to pass everyone in front of me. Are you fucking kidding me?! It's just a half mile! We get to the end and I'm third out of about 20 Marines. They finish the run panting and gasping. One even stands off to the side and pukes! I take a deep breath and start to get pissed. We're Marines, a small-assed run like that shouldn't take them out!

I keep my eyes focused on a distant point of light and turn my back to the wind. Goddammit, gotta keep warm, gotta keep strong. Looking to the left, I notice a Staff Sergeant chevron. YES! My fuggin Platoon Sergeant!

I introduce myself to him and explain that I didn't have my name called in formation. He understood and wrote my name on the roster. Good, now I don't have to worry about being UA. A few minutes later, it was time to switch stations.

The next station was four small ammo cans lined up next to each other. We lined up single file behind each one. I figured they'd all chicken out, so I picked a spot up front.

The large Sgt. running the station gave a quick briefing on what to do. Grab the ammo can by it's sides, with the top handle facing away from you. Extend your arms out at around a 45 degree angle above your head, then lower it to below your chin. Since we were just being introduced to it, they only had us do twenty of them.

I reached down and picked up the can. It was then I realized how cold and slippery my hands had become. They were numb. Quickly I pumped out all twenty. My arms screaming at me with each heft. The guy behind me counted, and as soon as I finished, I dropped them down and went to the staging area.

As I waited for everyone to finish, my body realized that it was indeed cold...very, very cold. I looked up and saw the rain had switched to sleet. Goddammit it's cold... About twenty minutes later, they called the formation again.

I stood in the front as our Platoon Sgt instructed us to fall out, go to our cars, and head back to the center.

"Platoon AH-TEN-HOO!" We snapped to attention. "When I give you the command to fall out, fall out and head back! Platoon FALL OUT!" My body instantly relaxed and a shiver rocked my body.

I made my way back to the car, opened the door and plopped down in my seat. I started the engine. The heater was on and a wave of heat passed over my face. I sat there and stared out my water covered windshield, trying to absorb what had just happened. A small smile crept across my face...

Damn it feels good to be back!

To be continued...

2008-10-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

A Simple Action...

Standing at attention...

Looking at the large Navy LtCmdr holding a sheet of paper in front of me...

Raising my right arm, bent at a 90 degree angle to the sky...

Repeating in a loud clear voice...

"I, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God. "

Damn it feels good to be a Corporal...

2008-09-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!

Jesus-tap dancing-Christ! After waiting and following up with the recruiter for the last three weeks...I finally have an Oct. 4th date for more Marine Corps goodness.

After being in the fleet on active, I know I shouldn't be surprised but I am.

Huh...must be getting used to the civilian workplace ethos. When something needs to be done to finish the job, get it done ASAP as time is money.

Marine Corps mentality...When something needs to be done to finish the job, wait for someone higher up to tell you when to start, but be sure to be there fifteen minutes early. Hurry up and wait.

(Oh yeah, Little Dude is in Cub Scouts, the wife got a new job, I got invited to Hawaii, and school is going well for everyone, in case anyone gives a damn)

2008-08-01T10:44:00.001-07:00

Now Watching...

HBO's new series called "Generation Kill". Watch it you bastards. Here's a small scene...

2008-07-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

Squeaky Wheels...

In my recent endeavor to return to my beloved Marine Corps, several things have come to my attention.

First and foremost, it would appear that my body's recovery time has become extended. An injury or pain that would bother me for a couple of days now lasts about a week. No problem...a couple of painkillers and mental discipline should remedy that.

Next, my body seems to be in storage mode. It now takes less food for my body to gain weight. Again, not a problem...put the fork down fatass.

Finally, it's gotten difficult to maintain a sub-seven time after the fourth mile. Hmmm...maybe I should kiss the Marlboro AFTER the friggin run instead of 15 minutes beforehand.

Other than that, I appear to have aged these last seven years gracefully.

The Silent Warrior will return...even if it kills me. Entering the Reserve facility felt like coming home after a long journey...

2008-07-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

Mood of the Mind...

Care to gain a peek inside my mind?

Press play and enjoy!

Yeah...that bad.

2008-07-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

Prologue...

The young man stands quietly next to a dull green door, his hands clasped behind his back...feet shoulder length apart. The grey painted cinderblock wall feeling cold against his back. His nervousness threatening to overwhelm him.

The muscles in his neck twitch...it's getting hard to stand still...how much longer?

The voices from behind the door grow slightly louder. His heart begins to beat faster.

A deep breath in...and out...

Relax. Everything will be fine.

The doorknob clicks and the door swings open from the inside. He quickly straightens up and attempts to look calm. A man walks out, pauses, and continues to walk away.

"You can come in now." says the voice from inside the room.

As he walks into the room, he notices the sign on the door has a black spraypainted stencil with the letters "SNCOIC". With a loud click, it shuts behind him. He slowly glances at his new surroundings.

It's a small office, the harsh flourscent lighting illuminating every detail from every surface. Badly frayed grey carpeting...a battered and stained yellow cloth chair that looks like it was stolen from a conference room sits in front of an old metal desk. Miscellaneous papers are scattered about. There are awards and certificates from untold locations tacked to the cinderblocks. Pictures of unknown people in unknown locations stare back at him with empty smiles. The office looks well used...

There is a diminuative, bald man sitting behind that desk staring up at the young man coldly. Every inch of him screams professionalism. He begins a slow look from the feet up to the top of the head...almost calculating the young man's worth...

As if coming to a conclusion, the old gentleman stands up from behind the desk and extends his hand to the young man.

He grips it tightly, hoping the old man doesn't notice the warm sweat on his palms. He meets the gentleman's eyes with his own...willing his body not to do anything stupid.

The old man never breaks eye contact and says simply...

"It's a pleasure to meet you...Corporal. Tell me...what brings you back to my Marine Corps?"

2008-03-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

Third...

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." - Sir Isaac Newton

I guess this holds true for life as well. For every action one takes, it seems there is an equal, yet opposite reaction. Start working out? Life becomes busier. Decide to diet? Holiday season hits. Attempt to revive a faltering blog? All your words become a jumbled mess.

Trivial...I know...

It's just that how many of you have actually taken the time to sit back and recognize the resistance of change in your lives? There's sort of a poetic balance to it all. The desires of the self being nullified by the response of the environment. Simply beautiful...

So how does one overcome the natural resistance to change? Discipline? Strength? Proper planning? All good ideas. However, I've discovered what else works just as well...letting nature decide where to take me.

So here I am...sitting here...typing on the keyboard for your eyes to read...waiting...

...for...

something...

anything...

anyone...

Fate WILL bring me what I need.

2008-01-29T17:15:00.000-08:00

The Sweater...

Ever have that sweater that sits in your closet or drawer that you never wear? Everyone seems to have one. You know the kind...the wool or cotton thing that looked good at the store so you bought it, only to find when you actually do wear it...it slowly itches you to death? All day at work you sit there, slowly suffering from the annoying scratchiness around your neck. No matter how much you adjust it, the sensation remains. You pray for the end of the day until finally, you can tear that sumbitch off and toss it in the corner...vowing never to wear it again. Yet eventually you see it folded neatly in your drawer and you think to yourself, "hmmm...that would be nice..." Then the cycle repeats itself.

I have one. Only it's with pets. Pets are my itchy sweater. When I don't have one, I find myself thinking, "Gosh it'd be nice to have a kitty" or "I wonder what it would be like to have a puppy!"

...stupid...

Now I have both and they are both slowly driving me insane. The cat sheds his fur everywhere. I'm talking finding Yeti clumps on my bed here. He meows at all hours of the day and night and has no hesitation of jumping and attacking any source of food. Not only that, but PFC Shadow drops the most heinous steamers in the history of mammals. Cute but annoying in the most insidious manner. Like when he comes to rub up against you and leaves a bad toupee attached to your work pants five minutes before you have to be at work...

The dog...well...someone has obviously fed a Mogwei after midnight and sold us Spike the friggin gremlin. Destruction with four paws thy name is Tucker. Large, clumsy, stupid, and smelly...this dog seems to have an encouraged schedule of waking up at 0230 in the morning to whine. He cannot be left alone for more than five minutes. Should you do, be prepared to find something...anything...chewed upon and/or completely destroyed. Pens, clothing, decorations, homework, magazines, CDs, tapes, glasses, furniture...all have fallen prey to this whirlwind of stupidity.

So here I am...the Marine who loves clean and tidy. Slowly watching my fortress devolve into a pit of destroyed items, pet hair, and the oh-so-wonderful aroma of dog, urine, and cat poo. I haven't had a good night sleep in almost half a year, and can no longer have any nice things less than five feet above the ground. Needless to say, no matter how much I adjust, this sweater will simply not stop being uncomfortable. I'm fighting the urge to just tear this off and relish the sweet relief of comfort. Sadly, to eliminate the pets would cause considerable heartache to the rest of my family.

So I'll endure it. A good Marine learns to adapt and overcome...but nobody said a good Marine has to be happy about it. Which for some reason, everyone expects me to be. What is it about pets that people think are sooo good? That if you have them, you should be happy and loving and all smiles? That they are members of my family and should be loved as such!

Tell that to my sleep dep bitches! A cat or dog is no different than a rat or a gopher. Yet you don't see anyone getting all weepy over evicting either from your property. I just wish others in my fortress felt the same way...

2008-01-23T14:35:00.001-08:00

For My One Reader...

Alright, because I love you that much...

I'll try to update this site more than once every couple of months.

Heh...or maybe not...

2007-10-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

Update...

Yes people I'm still here, I haven't given up on my site. Life has been EXTREMELY busy so in order to recap, here's what happened while I was gone and not writing anything:

Little Dude officially started school
Got a chocolate lab puppy. Named him "Tucker" (he's a hyperactive bastard)
I joined the Marine Corps League.
Computer is still fried and I haven't repaired it yet.
Renovated the bathroom in the Fortress. Now I can take showers upstairs. Whoo hoo!
Struggling with Charter to get my long distance phone service installed.
Medical stuff for the wife.
Halloween preparations.
Hardcore programming at work with late days and weekends.
Attending training classes for PFC Tucker.
Final landscaping for the season.
Work related corporate training.

And finally...doing my best to be a kick-ass dad, husband and all-around nicer person.

At times I find it simply amazing how much the mundanity of life can consume most or all of your days. Before you know it, several months have passed and a whole new crop of items need to be resolved. Well...I've gotta take a shower and get the day started.

Thanks for stopping in.

2007-10-01T04:09:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...

2007-09-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

YouTube Humor...

Sorry for the long delay in getting back. PC went kablooey, and well I'm too much of a cheap bastard to spend money. So here I sit on the wife's computer. Alright, I'm gonna post another video to make you smile.

2007-08-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

Update...

I'm doing fine now. The blood has passed, as well as the pain. See...all one has to do is suck it up and endure. Everything will be fine.

In celebration, I'm going to try to give you a seizure with the following vid...

2007-08-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

Exercise Scare...

So I took the afternoon to catch up on some badly needed workout time. Been pretty busy at work and home, so PT time is at a premium. I'll take it any time I can.

My workouts are...um...intense to say the least. Okay, damn, let's just say that I remember the boot camp PT routine and I've reflected that upon my civilian facilities. I end up dead tired, dripping wet from head to toe, and wearing a big shit-eating grin. That is...until today...

Do the stretches...no problem...
Push-ups...easy...
Jump on the treadmill...hmmm...I sorta have to make a head call...
Mile One: 9.5mph...awesome...
Mile Two: 10mph...ugh...hurtin so good...
Mile Three: 10.5mph...FUCK!!! I can't breathe and I gotta piss like a race horse!

Oh well, I'm done with that exercise...gotta piss! No wait, you can fit in a few more things!

Grab the 35lb weight, throw it on my chest and pump out my 100 sit-ups. GODDAMNIT why do I have to piss so bad!?

Grab the 50lb weights and do my curls...then I can't take it anymore. I gingerly put my weights down and make my way to the locker room. Trying not to walk like a toddler that has to go wee-wee.

With a sigh of relief, I let my troubles wash away....ahhhh....then I look down...

OhwhatthefugginhellisTHIS?! I'm pissing what looks to be...blood! Almost as soon as I realize what's coming out of me, I get the sudden sensation that someone just kicked me in the friggin balls.

Yeah...fun times. With an arched eyebrow and a shrug of my shoulders, I head back to the weight room to see what I could salvage of my workout. If I'm gonna pussy out of a workout, might as well make it worth my time...

Now if I can just figure out what's wrong with my plumbing...my brain says, "Doctor you fucking dumb ass", and my wallet is telling me, "Not in Nazi-land! You can't afford to be spending your health care on your own little 'problems'. Save it for Little Dude or the wife"

So here I sit. The pain comes and goes, but it looks like the worst is passed. A little grit and determination and I can afford to take care of my family's medical needs. Outstanding. Thank you Wisconsin and your abnormally high medical prices.

2007-08-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

Ooh-freakin-RAH!

2007-08-13T03:40:00.000-07:00

Mental Conversation

I see you took it upon yourself to make changes around here...

Yep.

Took down comments, took down contact information, and now swearing...

Uh-huh.

Listen, I know we've had our share of detractors over the years, but that's no reason to lose your mind here.

Hmm...

Are you even listening to me?!

Yeah yeah, sure...detractors...minds...

All I'm saying is that we've done so well over the years, there's no reason to sink to their level.

Uh-huh, yep...

So you'll stop the cursing and put everything back?

Yea-wait...what? Stop the cursing? Put everything back? Are you fucking nuts?! I haven't had this much freedom...EVER!

You weren't even listening to me! What the heck were you doing?!

Alright fucker listen up. Because of you we're no longer functioning members of the military. Because of you I'm now a hen-pecked husband with a sleeping problem. Because of you, I haven't been able to get a haircut in over two months. I think you've caused enough problems for me. In answer to your question, no I'm not going to put everything back. I'm sick of your shit. I'm running the show now bitch.

Heh...we'll see how long that lasts...sooner or later you'll come running back to me to pull your ass outta this mess...

Perhaps, but until then, say goodbye to all the eyes out there self!

...bye...

2007-08-09T18:07:00.001-07:00

Maybe I'm...

2007-08-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

An Explaination...

Alright, I'm sure some of you are scratching your head with the last post. How can I be saying such things when I haven't even been expressing my opinion in the last several months. Well, the truth is that I've been Googled...and Googled...and Googled. From "Indian Tacos" to "Charter errors", curious onlookers from around the globe stopped in and read the random post from years back.

Then came the comments...and the emails. People would read my posts and leave such gems as this..."you are a fuking (sic) tool, I bet you werent even in the marines", or this "You are not only a racist but a homophobe too"

Hmm...racist? Yep, apparently I hate the white man, the natives, black people, Jews, Mexicans, gays, and muslims. I'm also a Nazi, a neo-con, a commie, a traitor to my tribe, and unbeknownst to me, a member of several militia groups. Wow...that's awesome. Apparently, I'm a VERY busy guy.

Alright then all you haters out there, let me put in no uncertain terms where I stand on some things. These are my beliefs, and if you don't like them, use that little pointer and navigate your frowning ass outta here. So here you go...

1) I believe that illegal immigration is wrong. They're breaking the fucking law for cripes sake! They are not "undocumented". Like we just misplaced their papers. They are spitting in the face of every one of their countrymen that are working hard to come to my beloved country legally. And don't try to use that goddamn "Ask the Indians about illegal immigration" argument either. Indians are Americans like everyone else around here. In fact on my rez we got illegals bringing in drugs and violence. So fuck you Paco. Use the damn front door like a civilized person and stop trying to sneak into the back window.

2) I believe that the reservation system is a broken system. Yes terrible things have happened to our tribe in the past. Yes, those emotional wounds are difficult to heal. But for fucks sake people, it's the 21st fucking century. Get off your ass, get a damn education and make something of yourself. When was the last time in history that a conquered people were treated as well as us? From a historical perspective, we got off easy. Hell, we even have our own land and government! However, the current system is corrupted beyond redemption. Even those that try to pull us up as a people are torn down and belittled. Nepotism, immaturity, greed, and a good old case of assholishness rule the day in Lame Deer. Either get your shit together or get the fuck outta office. Oh and before you even start in on me about me not living there anymore...BIG FUCKING DEAL! I have a successful life with a happy family and plenty of money...even though I grew up on the rez. It's called hard work and courage. Use some.

3) I believe that homosexuals should have access to the same form of rights that marriage provides. But you know what? I voted for the statewide ban on gay marriage! You know why I did that? Because in my opinion marriage is, and always has been a contract between a man...and a woman. Not three men and a woman, or two men. As a legally binding contract, it should be identified and explained in often explicit detail on what it is to have a "marriage". The limitations, qualifications, and the effects of entering into that contract should be explained and stood by. Now as for the gays...hey if you swing that way, go you. None of my business. If you want a contract that is ABSOLUTELY identical to the contract of marriage, then petition for it. You can call it "bonding" or a "coupling" or whatever the hell you want to call it. Just make sure that it carries all the legal weight of a "marriage". This way, all the holy-rollers can enjoy their "Christian" marriage, and all the homos can enjoy their equal rights. Everyone wins...or loses...depending on the success of your own.

4) Katie Couric sucks. Not because she's a woman or any of that other sexist horseshit. It's because she comes off as some arrogant bitch doing us the privilege of her presentation. Whenever I see her smug reporting, the channel immediately changes. No fucking patience for people like that.

5) Second-hand smoke...I could give two shits about second-hand smoke. Standard exposure to second-hand smoke in a bar or diner is not going to jump up and infect you with cancer. Give me a fucking break! Like 30 years from now when you develop a tumor in your stupid ass...yep it was Bubba's Marlboro in Bob's Bar and Grill 30 years ago that caused it. It should be up to the owner whether or not to be smoke free. Yeah, you remember that person..the owner...the one who paid all that money and worked their ass off to try to succeed in this life? What gives you...the nobody who walks by, the right to dictate how they run their business? And don't give me that "I have the right to breath clean air" shit either. Cause the last time I remember Bob's Bar and Grill at the corner did not require the average person to enter the premises. That's like hanging out in a skunk den, then bitching about the smell.

Alright then, if you made it this far congratulations. If you want to come back, you are more than welcome. If not...well see yah! I just had to get that shit off my chest.

2007-08-08T04:27:00.000-07:00

Removing Ears...

Alright, listen up reader...I use that because I only have one reader...I've changed the layout of the site, removed the comments area, and got rid of the rest of the crap.

Those who want to comment to me can do so if they already have the resources. The rest of you, you'll just have to sit there and keep them to yourself.

I guess I'm just sick to fucking death of caring what people think. I'm going to write what I feel dammit. You may not agree with it, but they are my words and I stand by them.

2007-07-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

YouTube Humor...

I've got a fever...and the only prescription is...

2007-07-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

YouTube Humor

Yes ladies and gentlemen, my favorite clip...

Trust me you gotta watch it...especially if you're a Star Wars fan...

2007-07-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

Geek Humor...

01000010 01101001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00001101 00001010 01001110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100110 01110010 01100001 01101001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110011 01101000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100100 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101101 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101100 01100100 00101100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101100 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01100001 01110011 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110111 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100100 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101101 01110011 00101110

2007-07-14T19:33:00.001-07:00

Tired...

Ugh!

Vacation, vacation, vacation...from Montana, to "Up North" Wisconsin, to the Madison Zoo...my family has been traveling. Hours upon hours of mindless driving...

Truth be told, while all of this has been quite exciting, it has taken its toll on me. Packing the kids up and heading off to a new and wondrous place has become...tiresome.

Even here in my own blog, there has not been much activity. Just been too damn tired.

Yeah I'll get around to this...when I get my strength back.

Dammit...where did my motivation go?

2007-06-30T05:21:00.001-07:00

YouTube Humor

2007-06-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

Random Quiz...

Hat tip to the lovely Bou...for the directions to VW...who inspired me to take it as well...

Hmmm...pretty accurate if you ask me. Granted, none of you are.

You scored as Severus Snape, Well you're a tricky one aren't you? Nobody quite has you figured out and you'd probably prefer it stayed that way. That said you are a formidable force by anyone's reckoning, but there is certainly more to you than a frosty exterior and a bitter temper.

Severus Snape

95%

Hermione Granger

85%

Lord Voldemort

80%

Harry Potter

75%

Draco Malfoy

70%

Albus Dumbledore

70%

Remus Lupin

65%

Ginny Weasley

40%

Ron Weasley

35%

Sirius Black

35%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

2007-06-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

Facing Your Past...

For me it was a common question over the years...

"Why don't you talk with your family more, or go back to Montana?"

One where I had an easy answer...

"Because they are in my past, and I have already said goodbye to my past"

It's not that my past was exceptionally terrible. I was never abused, never committed any crimes, never did any of the things that make people have deep emotional scars. Yet in my own way, I regret a vast majority of my past life...and a good many more actions.

This last week, I gathered my family up and introduced them to this past. For a week we stayed in various locations in the great state of Montana. Meeting family long forgotten, seeing the decay of my tribal land, visiting the battlefields of my grandfathers, and introducing a bit of history along the way.

On a mental note, it would seem that polishing a cherished memory for seven years has a tendency to reflect a reality that...is quite the opposite of what appeared before my very eyes. My childhood home had become an echo of what I used to know. The swings that had made me smile and laugh when I was a child were now weed-covered and rotted. The house I had called a home had changed over the years and was now a place I could barely recognize. The once meticulously groomed lawn now overgrown, and the beautiful white fence surrounding it...fallen over...with the paint all but gone from the grey skeleton that used to be a type of wood.

When I looked across the echos of my childhood...I winced. Because throughout that place I could see the scars of my own destructive tendencies spread throughout the property. The carelessness of my past, left to rot under the weather. The destroyed machinery standing in the middle of a field of tall grass...like a monument to a bygone era. Holes in walls...equipment left out...glass shattered...all testaments to my own dark destructive nature.

What was I thinking back then?! As my children looked on in awe at the place I once called home, I could only look down at my son and with a reassuring hand on his shoulder...smile. For as much as time and decay had decimated this once great place...the soul had remained intact. My old mother with all her health problems had worked her hardest with the little resources she had...and kept this home running.

Inside, while cluttered with decades of accumulation, was always a comforting place where smiles and friendly conversation abounded. Where there was always a hug or motherly advice. It was here where I learned the most important lesson of all on my vacation...it's not where you end up in this life of ours that matters most...it's what we do during this life, and the legacy we leave behind for others to cherish that matters. Cliched...I know...

My mother suffered through the agony of my past...endured the hardships by herself...watched helplessly as her dream of a beautiful home slowly crept away...struggled to maintain her own health...and still offered her son and his family a warm bed and full meal. A son who had said goodbye to his past and never looked back for nearly a decade. I came away from Montana with a new-found respect for that woman.

Yet this was only one aspect in a trip that would force me to confront some of the darkest, most locked away parts of my own mind.

But...that's a story for another day...

Thanks for reading.

2007-06-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Return of the Corporal...

Hello you magnificent bastards and welcome back to the hole in the Internet known as Ramblings of an Ordinary. My name is Silent Warrior (aka James), and I'll be your host for the duration of the reading. So welcome aboard and wipe your damn feet at the door.

As you have read from the previous post, I've fired my civilian counter-part from blogging. Yes, big loss there. Whatever would the world do without updates on what I did in my back yard, or what gift I got for what holiday. Yeah yeah, I'm sure the family would appreciate something like that, but not you guys. You guys want the meat and potatoes. You want the good stuff from my mind. Not only the ideas and beliefs that make you smile and laugh, but those that make you frown in frustration.

The thing is my beloved readers...you won't get those in this post. You see, for the next week I'm going to be introducing my family to my Cheyenne roots and going back to the reservation. So if you see me in Lame Deer or Colstrip, say hi. Chances are I just might notice you and wave back.

But I doubt it.

See you all in a week.

2007-06-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

Mental Conversation...

Okay self get your ass up!

Huh?

You've been candy-assing your site for the last couple of months!

Yeah...nothing much going on in our life, you know that.

Bull. What about restoring the first floor of your house? What about the outstanding perimeter we put up around the now-growing garden? What about our upcoming trip to the reservation in Montana? Did you forget about the upcoming birthday for Denise, and of course Father's Day?

*sigh* Those things are things that everyday people do...not something worthy to be put on my blog.

Oh sorry, I didn't know I was talking to Mr. "My Life Must Play Like a Friggin Movie Script". Can I call you "Mr. Friggin" for short?

Whatever.

Alright, listen up man. I've let you run the show around this blog for the last year and a half. Ever since I gave up my aspirations to re-enlist in the military.

Yes and I appreciate that.

However, Mr. Friggin, you've turned my lovely site from that of a reflective warrior in repose, to the incoherent bitchings of a guy with a good life.

Now that's not fair! I wrote what I felt was the right thing to write! When you were in charge, your life was in chaos. You had things to write about, things to reflect upon. I don't have that luxury.

Nor will you for some time. As of right now, my civilian counter-part, I'm putting you on blogging hiatus. You will stand down immediately and I will take over the blogging responsibilities for the forseeable future.

I'm FIRED?!

Damn skippy. You've driven my site into the ground with your focus on the daily. That is not the purpose of this site. If you want to document your daily activities, go start your own blog. This site is intended to be a provacative look into the mind of a Native warrior.

I see. So will I still be able to contribute?

Oh I'm sure I'll be having Mental Conversations in the future. You are welcome to attend.

Okay...

In the meantime, pack your gear and kick rocks. I'll give you a call if I need you for anything.

Alright, I'm outta here...

2007-05-15T16:29:00.000-07:00

Bad Things to Good People...

It sucks when someone you know comes down ill. Sucks even worse when it's cancer.

His wife has started a blog. Not able to make comments, but I thought I would share it with you anyway. Should she decide to add comments, be sure to stop in a give her a good word. She needs all the support she can get.

http://venusandjetreaction.blogspot.com/

***UPDATE***
Her comments are up and running

2007-05-13T05:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers Day

*brushing dust off the blog*

Greetings faithful readers and occasional poor lost internet searchers. Welcome all.

I just wanted to wish all the mothers out there a very happy day today.

So...uh...Happy Mothers Day!

That is all, carry on.

2007-04-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Music For Waiting...

2007-04-06T03:58:00.000-07:00

Mental Conversation...

Hey...wake up!

Hunh?

Wake up!

Why?

They're back...

Who's back?

Them...can't you feel them...those eyes looking at you?

Aw who cares anymore...they've been looking for almost four years now.

So you don't mind them staring at us?

Why should I? Now shut it and let me sleep.

Oh...sorry.

...

Um...thanks for stopping in people. As soon as he wakes up, I'll see if he can say a few more words.

2007-03-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday...

Today the Silent Warrior celebrates his birthday.

One year older...one year closer to becoming completely obsolete.

Cool part was...the wife got me an NCO sword.

Ooh-rah, go me, yay...now carry on.

2007-03-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

Update...

If you are reading this then you must be one of my loyal readers. If not...well...you picked a hell of a time to get curious around here.

There's not much happening in my life lately. I pimped myself to corporate management and got a HUGE frickin raise. I can now support my family in relative comfort without having to worry about money anymore.

Other than that, it's the same old same old. So...until ANYTHING interesting happens in my life, which is highly doubtful, I'll go ahead and let the dust start settling on my lil' old site here.

So welcome to this site, check out the archives, go visit my people worth reading, then go away.

2007-02-27T04:59:00.000-08:00

Home Sweet Home...

Ah yes, vacation is over. Its sad to see it go, but I am so happy to be back home again. MOVE OVER NICOLE!

I had an enjoyable time with my parents, my cousin, and my brother! We spent time in Laughlin, Vegas, and Mesa. The memories that I took with me will last a lifetime.... along with a few new phrases and dance moves.

I hope that Silent didn't get too outta control while I was away. And I thank you for keeping him company.

2007-02-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

Home Alone...Day 2

Okay, I admit it...I'm a convert. I've joined the Church of Frickin Grey's Anatomy Fans. I'm also a big softie too. Damn it all...if there's ever been a show to bring a tear to a Marine's eye, it's this one.

But that doesn't mean I'm weak you jerks! Just means I'm accepting that I possess emotions that can be played like a harp by creative television personnel. Yay.

Ladies...I don't want you thinking yours truly is a pushover. True inner strength is acknowledging all emotions, that includes possessing love and empathy. One must often exercise those traits to match the physical strength of the body. I just happen to love exercising both.

Isn't that right Nicole?

Oh when will you give up your "urban" cowboy and come to the geek side...?

2007-02-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

Home Alone: Day 1...

So far all I've been doing is answering the same question over and over again...

"Yes son...your mom will get back on MONDAY!"

Ah...so much freedom...so little...motivation... I think we'll just play around this evening and spend a nice quiet evening home.

That sound okay to you Nicole?

Yeah...I thought so...

2007-02-20T16:32:00.000-08:00

Home Alone...

Well Denise has left this evening. For one week it's only the men guarding the fortress. Heh heh...who knows what kind of wacky hijinx we wild and crazy guys are gonna get into!

Heh...if by "hijinx" you mean sitting around in your sweats eating chinese delivery...then you go guys...

Hey Nicole Kidman, if you're reading this...NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!

Come get it while the gettin's good!

Mmmm....good stuff...

2007-02-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

Change...

Well it would appear that the good folks at Blogspot have forced me to migrate to their new Google account system. Bummer. So it was either join in with the internet Borg, or go belly-up. I guess being assimilated wouldn't be too bad. Maybe I'll end up with a laser-beam attached to my friggin head...that would be outstanding.

Alright...well let's not make this post a total loss. Here's a little something to make you smile. While surfing the CNN website, I noticed a headline...

Um...way to go Nigerian kidnappers!

2007-02-09T05:10:00.000-08:00

Cubes...

Welcome back to Ramblings of an Ordinary my beloved readers. How you doing? Your eyes doin' okay? Good good! Well pull up a chair, press play on my music, and enjoy the ambiance that is my page.

Alright, I'm sure alot of you are wondering what's up with Little Dude's headlights. Thankfully, the doctor still has hope that his eyes are correctable. Therefore, we're back to using the Atropine in his good eye. Just one drop a week to try to strengthen his bad eye. So there you go...nothing too terribly bad.

Now, let's get to the real topic of this post...cubicles. Do you use them at your place of employment? If not, you're really not missing anything special. The dreary beige fabric covering the metal sheets, the cheap desktop materials, the desk drawers that don't really close too well...ah...my home away from home.

Down here in the dungeon where I work, the cubicle has become an expression of the resident. The hippy has music posters, concert paraphenalia, and some clutter on his desk. Comic Book Guy, has toys from various movies and cartoons everywhere, posters of said cartoons on the walls, and again, the clutter of various PC parts and paperwork. Tommy Boy has humorous anecdotes on his walls, the toys of various origin, and the desk is covered in manuals and tech magazines. New Guys 1 and 2, both have their desks covered with DVD burners, software manuals, old mail, magazines, and pictures of friends and family. Even the boss has his cubicle littered with old tasks and reminders. Each cubicle is unique and interesting. A cursorary glance at each would give a glimpse into the lives of each tech. Married? Children? Messy? Bookish? Geeky? Funky? Questions that could, at first glance, be answered relatively quickly.

So what about me? What does this motivated Marine and Northern Cheyenne warrior have on his mighty desk of power?

Nothing.

Yeah, you heard me...absolutely nothing. No books on the shelves, no papers awaiting recycling, no pictures of family, no reminders tacked to the walls, not even any papers on the desk...it's as if there's nobody there. Every Friday, I clean it...from top to bottom, eliminating all traces of dust, arranging my keyboard and mouse to perfect angles, and throwing away any unnecessary clutter. In fact the mail girls have asked if I had been fired...heh. It's crazy how structured and sterile I demand my own environment to be.

As I look around... I sorta wonder, if the cubicle is a reflection of the tech...what does mine say about me?

2007-02-07T05:27:00.000-08:00

Another Doctor Bill...

Well today I'm taking a day off of work. The reason? Little Dude has to see the eye specialist again. Looks like his eye is falling back again since his last surgery.

I'm sort of nervous that he's going to simply say, "It's stuck that way, he's going to have a lazy eye for the rest of his life". Aw man that would be all shades of suck. If there's a way for my son to live his life without the stigma of a lazy eye...I've gotta shoot for it. Even if that means I have to sell my vehicle to afford it, I believe it would be worth it. It's my job as his father dammit.

So anyway...that's what I'm doing today. A trip to Marshfield, followed by...I dunno...a trip to KMart and Taco Johns or something. Heh heh heh...love me some TJ potatoes... So wish me luck people, or should I say wish Little Dude luck!

Thanks for stopping in and by all means, enjoy the music!

2007-02-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

Same Dog, New Trick...

Well hats-off to the beautiful ArmyWifeToddlerMom for teaching me how to share some of my favorite music to you all. So here goes nothing!

If there was ever a song that could be my theme-song, this would be it...

Enjoy!

2007-02-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

Mental Conversation...

Hey self

Hey there.

What you doin'?

Thinking.

About?

The war in Iraq.

Ah...I see. And what have you concluded?

I dunno, that's why I gotta think about it.

So why's it on your mind today.

Just remembering those protesters I saw on the street last weekend.

Oh those guys. What about them?

Something struck me as odd. There were only about 20 of them on the street corner. Of that 20, about 10 of them had signs. Of those 10 signs, two specifically mentioned Iraq, about three mentioned "peace", about four of them sported anti-Bush quotes, and one had a laughable "Violence Never Solves Anything" quote.

Yes, they were protesting the war in Iraq. What's your point?

Well my point is that as a person merely passing them on the street...if I were to only look at the group of people, and base my opinion of them on their signs, they were an anti-Bush group. Not a peace group.

I believe in the times we are living in, to be one...is to be the other...

It just frustrates me to see so many normal everyday people jaded to the point of making a spectacle of themselves under the pretense of something "noble", but actually representing something so base and repugnant.

So something tells me that you are "pro-war"?

No my friend, the only thing I am is..."pro-strength". Strength of character, unity, belief, and common sense. Those are the things I believe in. War is horrible, no matter the purpose, end result, or cause. However, war in my opinion is an inevitable result of human nature. Since the dawn of civilization, we have struggled against ourselves for the progression of our beliefs. While we may be far more educated and "civilized" than our original loin-cloth wearing counterparts, we are...still only human. In my opinion, wars and violence are an aspect of our own humanity. For ones own beliefs to survive, one must be stronger than their enemies...in not only physical strength, but in willpower.

Alright...a little deep but I follow...

To see those people chanting about peace by any means saddens me. It means that they have become so focused on the "idea" of our collective humanity, that they are willing to put aside the act of "being" a human. To follow a path that you are not meant to follow only leads to ruination and disappointment.

So that means we should just accept the war?!

NO! Dammit, why do people always have to look at things in black and white?! What I'm saying is that war is as much a part of living the human experience, as language and religion. I believe that if you are going to get yourself into a fight...win it...with everything you've got. Crush your enemies so they NEVER threaten you again. Or avoid starting the fight in the first place.

Wow, such a peaceful belief...

I'm all for peace, togetherness, brotherhood and all that jazz. But as a citizen, being a small piece of a larger whole, faced with the prospect of supporting the war, or opposing it, I'll choose to support the war in the hopes of defeating those who stand against us sooner. I may not agree on the reasons "why" we went to war, or how we're fighting it, but the fact is...we are there now. No pussy-footing around with "green zones", or "troop levels". If you want to go to war, be prepared to face the nightmarish reality as you kill thousands of men, women, and children. Be ready BEFOREHAND, to accept the possibility that you will slaughter innocents in your war. Don't act surprised after the fact. Don't try to say you support the troops but oppose the war, after you're there. Unless you are willing to accept all of those PERSONALLY, you shouldn't go to war...or even encourage war.

I see... You do realize that many people would heartily disagree with your beliefs...

That's their right. Given to them by the use of violence by our predecessors. If you look back you'll see that every single great human civilization has fallen at some time or another. All the accomplishments, education, technology...reduced to a faded memory. We will be no different. For us to pursue the ideal of peace through the non-use of our military is to open our gates to the perceived barbarians of our own making. I dunno...perhaps we should pull out of Iraq...perhaps we should send more troops... Either way, Iraq...in my mind at least, represents the current state of "our" western civilization. We are willing to have the power to destroy our enemies, but we as a people are of such a split-personality that we cannot effectively wield such power.

Such a doom-and-gloom outlook...

Well...seeing my fellow Americans contributing to our own collective weakness by preying on the sympathies towards our warriors sorta has that effect on me.

Okay, then I'll leave you be with your thoughts...

2007-01-30T09:58:00.000-08:00

Vista is HERE...

Did you rush out there and buy this shiny turd? Spend hundreds of your dollars on something that is not only late by five years, but invades your privacy, slows systems down to a crawl, has very little driver support, comes in meaningless yet expensive levels, and feels like an electronic comic book?

Yeah, me neither.

2007-01-29T05:26:00.000-08:00

Anniversary...

Well ladies and gentlemen, as of today I've managed to stay married to the same woman for six years. An accomplishment in itself when you look at the divorce rates for people in my age group.

So...Denise, if you're reading this...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

2007-01-26T10:53:00.000-08:00

Joys of Owning a House...

The morning started just like any other day. I woke up, stretched, scratched my ass, yawned, and went downstairs for some coffee. Rubbing the sleep outta my eyes, I sipped on my coffee and went to my basement to take my shower.

I flip the light on in the shower stall and see the white plastic drain cover off the hole and laying about 5 inches off to the side. The shower floor covered in what looked like dried out lint. Hmmm...that's odd... I reach in with my foot and slide the light plastic drain cover back into place.

I take another sip of my coffee and put it off to the side. Time to accomplish the three "esses". (Sh!t, Shower, and Shave) I open the lid to the toilet and...woah...no water in there. Now that's weird. Just like the friggin idiot I am, I flush the toilet to see what happens. All the water comes rushing into the bowl, and rises...and rises...and rises.. HOLY CRAP! I grab the plunger and start attacking the throne with all I got. Thankfully, I hold the flood back and decide that using this would not be the best idea in the world. Take that toilet!

So, knowing that my toilet is out of commission, I decide that I at least needed a shave. I turn on the water in the sink and let it heat up. I start shaving when I hear an ominous gurgling noise from my toilet. I look over and it looks like my toilet is boiling, having been magically filled again. What the hell?! I turn the water off and the water drains completely out of the toilet.

Friggin hell! Now what?

So with no shower, a piss-poor shave, and a delayed...other thing, I get dressed, take my son to daycare

I get to work and immediately call the Roto-Rooter folks. They agree to go to my house and less than an hour later, they're there and snaking some powered auger through the drain. About 10 minutes of grinding later, he pulls out a smelly football-sized clump of stuff. Yep, that's nasty. I hold a trash bag out for him and he places it inside.

The guy mentions something about having a little resistance when he was pulling out the auger. Okay, he's gotta run the auger through again. This time when he stops, it's much harder to pull out. With a few grunts, and a loud sucking noise, he starts pulling this HUGE clump of roots, hair, and...god only knows what....outta the pipe.

"Oh my god, grab that bag quick!" he yells to me.

I hold it out as he holds what appears to be a dead Wookie in front of me, dripping questionable liquid all over my floor. He drops it into the garbage bag, nearly filling it.

"Yep, that should be all of it"

Trying to keep from gagging, I close up the bag and drag it outside. On my way out, I hear him running the auger again. This time, a smooth whir...none of the hard grinding I heard before. The dude had successfully cleaned the drains. Friggin outstanding.

Man, some days...owning a house just ain't all it's cracked up to be.

A dead wookie and $154 dollars later and now I can finally take my shower.

2007-01-24T06:59:00.000-08:00

***BLOG UPDATE***

Officially replaced a link on my "People Worth Reading" section.

Sorry JMan, you haven't posted anything in over a year. Time for your link to drop off.

In keeping with the tradition of having someone from my past, say hello to Jennifer from In Search of Myself. Stop in, say hi, and enjoy her excellent writings. She's also quite the scrapbooking lady, so if you need advice or ideas, that's the place to go.

Oh, and if you are wondering why I don't include more people in that list, it's because too many people on a list becomes distracting. Too many links + not enough time = wasted linkage. Please...think of the linkage...

That is all, carry on.

2007-01-23T13:03:00.000-08:00

Blogging...

Need I say more?

2007-01-23T10:50:00.000-08:00

Corporate Life...

Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"! --Winston Zeddmore in Ghostbusters

With the new year here, it's time for us cubicle-dwellers to be evaluated by our superiors. A word of advice for all of you reading these lines...DON'T be humble! Brag yourself up like the friggin big-dawg you know you are. Should you bust your ass all year long, let management know. If you think the corporate red-tape sucks, let them know...AND offer a solution. If you've been expected to crap miracles and wipe your ass with rainbows on a daily basis LET THEM KNOW!

Sometimes, the only way to be noticed...is to stand out. The best way to stand out is to pimp yourself in the most eloquent and open manner possible. Humility be damned! The best thing that can happen is a possible promotion and more money. The worst...you lose your job. Either way, you can spend the rest of the upcoming year confident in your own honesty and belief in yourself. Bottom line is...YOU DA MAN! Time to show it!

This has been a public service announcement from the Electronic Miracle Workers Association of Cubicle Land.

2007-01-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly...

The Good - Getting various vacations lined up for the family. The wife is going to see family in Arizona and making a side trip to Vegas. (what happens there, stays there) I'm taking the rest of the crew to visit the Rez in Montana sometime in June. Then the annual summer vacation up north in July. Ahh...2007 is turning out to be a great year. With the increase in pay due to my "Engineer" position, these vacations should be a little easier to pull off.

The Bad - With all the changes that have taken place these past few months, it's been hard to keep up with the basics. Things like Bio, home renovations, and education have taken a big hit. As such, things are falling behind...alot. I know that I have to get started on them, but every time I finish a task, three more spring up to surprise me. Ever play "whack-a-mole"? Same thing, only with daily crap. Silent is getting tired.

The Ugly - I believe I'm going to have to give my toilet a first name. We've spent so much time together lately... Yes ladies and gentlemen, yours truly has come down with yet another bug. This time it's projectile vomit and a firehose of crap coming out the other end. Both at the same time. Ugh....I've never seen so much of my knees in such a short time... Not fun.

So there you have it. A snapshot of my life in three paragraphs. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But you know what? I wouldn't change my life for anything.

2007-01-15T11:15:00.000-08:00

Quiz Time...

A snappy salute and a "what the?!" to the Raging Mom of The Splatter Zone...

Go visit, I command you!

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 60% Conservative, 40% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Heh, who would've thought I would be such a lib? Guess it shows I do have to two distinct personalities when it comes to certain things.

2007-01-12T07:41:00.000-08:00

Stupid Lights...

With the passing of winter, we see the prevalance of darkness in our day-to-day life. Case in point, when I take Little Dude to daycare in the morning, it's dark outside. When I pick him up after work, it's dark outside. When you work in a basement all day, it seems that your life is in a perpetual state of darkness. The only time you see sunlight is when you go home for lunch, or during the weekends. Which brings me to the point of my entry today...

When your life is in a state of perpetual darkness, you tend to notice the importance of lights. Street lights, store signs, house lights...you name it and they become important to you. When they suddenly fail next to you...you notice. Lately, they've all been failing on me when I pass by them. It's starting to worry me.

I drive by random street lights and they turn off. I flip a switch to turn on a light at home and the lightbulb burns out. Walking by a nightlight causes it to burn out. Stopping at a gas station at night and the security light above me burns out. And sometimes it's not just the lights, it seems to be anything electronic. Digital clocks suddenly change timing or lose their setting, hard drives burning out, processors failing when you get near it, the radio in my car suddenly changing stations, cd organizers suddenly losing all settings when you try to check something out, getting paged with blank entries on my beeper...

Perhaps it's all random coincidence. If so, I should probably buy a lottery ticket, cause everything I've described above has happened in the last couple of days. Not only that, it's been happening for the last several years and it seems to be getting worse. Even my son questions why the lights always go out around me. The only answer I can give him is..."I dunno...maybe they've got faulty wiring".

It's probably just my mind recognizing patterns where there are none. I hope so, cause it's starting to drive me nuts. The true irony of this unlucky crap is that my expertise is fixing broken stuff. I guess I'll never be short of practice.... Either way, a part of me is starting to wonder if this is kind of crap happens to other people?

Anyone out there have my kind of bad luck? Any info on why it happens?

2007-01-09T05:49:00.000-08:00

ARRRRGH!!!!!

Our Tech, who art in Help Desk,
harried be thy name.
Thy Network come,
thy will be done,
on PCs as it is on laptops

Give us this day our daily net
and forgive us our eye rolling
as we forgive those who eye roll against us
And lead us not into user rights
but deliver us from users.
For thine is the Network, the Admin, and the Password
For ever and ever, non-expiring.

Amen

2007-01-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

Mental Conversation...

So...you're an Engineer now eh?

Yeah, sure am.

Outstanding. So...what do you do?

Um...same thing as before.

Ooo-kay...but you get paid more right?

Theoretically...yes, I will eventually.

Did you get any more training?

Um...no.

So let's see...you do the same job, get paid the same amount, and received no additional training...

Yep...

Wow, way to go ace. You've practically already become Geordi LaForge!

Oh hah hah hah. Hey it's just my company putting my already difficult job into the proper perspective. You know...calling it what it finally is.

Yeah well you can gift wrap a box of crap, but that still doesn't change what's inside.

What the hell does that mean? You saying my job is crap?!

Hey calm down, I'm just using a metaphor. I'm just saying you can sugar-coat it all you want, in the end they're still just calling you by a different name.

But that name change just put my market value through the friggin roof, so eat it!

You honestly think you'll make your market value?! A company is paying an "engineer" peanuts for a job they'd have to pay someone else tens of thousands more for...you honestly think they'd willingly change that?

Not every company is as dark and greedy as you'd like to think my friend.

Yeah, and not every employee is as brainwashed as you are.

Hey, if I'm susceptable to brainwashing now, I can thank YOUR Marine Corps boot camp for that!

Alright, alright, I think we're going places we shouldn't. Besides, my glorious and beloved Corps did not brainwash me! They merely showed us a better way of existing.

Feh...you say "tomato", I say "blow it out your ass"...

Yeah, you "blow it out your ass" and I say, "You smell terrible!"...

2007-01-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

A Rose by any Other Name...

Well it would appear that 2007 is indeed going to bring about changes in the life of the Silent Warrior. The company that I work for has re-evaluated my position.

I always considered myself a Level III Tech Support. Which means I'm responsible for writing programs, updating corporate computers, and troubleshooting various issues that make it past the first two levels. A difficult job that requires intuition, creativity, and experience. Just like every other professional job out there.

Turns out with the level of education, the job responsibilities, and certifications involved, I've been officially designated the title "Systems Engineer". Heh...never would have thought I would be an "engineer" of anything. Outstanding...hopefully this means an increase in pay as I haven't seen a reasonable increase in wages since 2003.

So...I'm an Engineer now...I would have never guessed. I don't really feel very "engineery".

Now that my job matches my certifications, there's a certain poetic meter to my life. Let's hope it lasts. Catch you all later!

2007-01-02T08:19:00.000-08:00

A New Year...

So, if you are reading this, then I can tell you've already been inundated with articles covering the topic of New Years. Everything from resolutions to reflections on events and changes during the past year. So what do I bring to the table for 2007? Absolutely nothing.

I could give two craps about the new year anymore. One year is the same as the next. The only thing different is that I now must write a "7" at the end of my dates instead of a "6". Yippee. Break out the champagne and go kiss a stranger. Yeah I know I'm being a cynic here. Hell, I might be even be considered a stuck-up bastard for thinking this way. But while you are nursing your celebratory hangovers, allow me to give you, my beloved readers, a few examples of why I hate this time of year.

1) The Ball Drop in New York - A method of synchronizing clocks in the Victorian era, now used to celebrate the changing of the year. Also used as a method to increase tourism by the city of New York, and give every major network an excuse to broadcast "***insert mediocre celeb name here***'s Rocking New Years Celebration Extravaganza!" Twenty different perspectives of the same drunken party with crappy music. Channel 2...New York, Channel 3...New York, Channel 4...New York, Channel 5...Los Angeles! Wait...no...just announcing the upcoming party, back to New York. There are only so many scantily-clad pop-tarts you can watch before you don't give a damn what their singing or why. You just want them to put on a pair of pants.

2) Resolutions - Or the act of self-inflicted disappointment. People make resolutions for everything from losing weight to giving up online porn. Hardly anyone makes it past the first several weeks. So why do you do it? My opinion is that people need to believe that they have a second...third...fourth....fiftieth chance in life to make themselves better. Here's the thing people, stop being a lazy bastard the OTHER 364 days! It makes acknowledging your year just a weeeeee bit easier. Ever hear of the saying "It's easier to keep up, than to catch up"? You live your year following that principle and you'd be hard-pressed to find something to fix about yourself at New Years.

3) Parties - Yep, as a family man I'm now fully aware of the folly of throwing a party that involves loud drunken patrons at various locations...in the middle of the night. These people have homes too. After the party, people will have to get home and get some sleep. Combine the alcohol with the fatigue of being up all night, and you have a recipe for disaster. Yet every year people think it's a good idea to get shit-faced and drive home at zero-dark-thirty. Feh! Some people take responsibility and have DDs or get a taxi ride. But all to many of them decide to man-up and drive home drunk...ending their year a bit early in the process. Such a waste.

4) Predictions - Everything from aliens invading to the US pulling out of Iraq have been predicted for 2007. Here's my predictions: I will wake up each morning, take a dump, shave, and take a shower. After which, there's a high probability that I'll go to work and stay there for a majority of the day. Then I'll go home and spend time with my family. A good night's rest later and it's lather, rinse, repeat. People who predict events for the upcoming year only partake in the mental masturbation of "what if". As much of a waste of time as watching Dr Phil or any feckin primetime television show. What will happen...will happen.

And Finally...

5) The Day After - Whether you've been partying your ass off at a local bar with the hotties, or staying home watching the ball drop in New York over...and over...and over again, the fact remains...you have to go to work the next day. Which means people with hangovers, sleep dep, and stories. Ah the stories...whether they be colorful tales of hedonism, or woeful yarns of past years, the people love telling them. You can either suck it up and listen to them, or appear to be an asshole and tell them you're not interested. Either way it sucks to be the quiet one.

So there you have it. Several reasons why I treat New Years as any other day on my calendar. Take them as you will. Good luck on your resolutions, hydrate for your headache, and remember...nobody cares if you drank forty beers with Playmates last night.

Here's hoping your upcoming year is better than the one before!

2006-12-27T06:48:00.000-08:00

The Aftermath...

Well the gifts have been opened, the parties have all ended, and the gut is only slightly larger. Ahh...what a Christmas. It was awesome. Thank you to all my family and friends who made this holiday outstanding. A special thank you to my Montana family for the unexpected gifts! Especially you El Cariso!

Thank you all.

Now to take down our pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree, wrap and box the ornaments, and take down the lights. One year down...another forty to go...

Maybe tomorrow I'll actually offer up a post that has some substance to it. I feel my site has simply become a bulletin board of a mundane nobody. Yep...ate some cheese today...um...yeah...

Catch you later and thanks for stopping in.

2006-12-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

Random Scene...

Ever have a scene from a movie stuck in your head, and it just will not go away? Well I do...and it's a scene from one of my favorites...Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

ARTHUR:
Consult the Book of Armaments!

BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.

SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--

MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.

SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

MAYNARD:
Amen.

KNIGHTS:
Amen.

2006-12-19T05:30:00.000-08:00

Happy 5th Birthday...

On Sunday the family and I celebrated Little Dude's fifth birthday. Granted his actual birthday isn't until Thursday, but with all the Christmas celebrations right around the corner, we figured it'd be best to have it a little earlier than usual.

Here's the Action Girl and Little Dude opening his presents. Currently Little Dude is showing off his new HotWheels tree ornament.

After the presents were done, Little Dude was beaming ear-to-ear. Please note the matching HotWheels clothing. I swear, if this kid could turn into a HotWheels car, he would.

Finally, it was time for cake and ice cream. Neither of which were eaten by the Dude. Oh he sure enjoyed blowing out his candles and getting presents. But when it comes to eating the sweets...forget it! Oh well, more for me!

I can't believe he's gonna be five already... Where does the time go? Next fall he starts Kindergarten, then his "Little Dude" phase will be over.

Damn...sometimes five years just isn't enough...

2006-12-16T07:03:00.000-08:00

Health, Holidays, and Good Cheer...

Hey there people, welcome back to my little plot of web-earth. Just to let you all know, I'm feeling better now. Thanks to everyone who wished me well. It's simply amazing what several doses of penicillin will do for a man.

So it's the holiday season around here. How's yours going? Got all your shopping done for your loved ones? For you husbands out there, how's that struggle getting a gift for your wife going? You decide on everything yet? Jewelry? Perfume? Power Tool? I feel your pain brother. Why is it that whenever you ask a woman what she wants for Christmas, she'll usually give you a coy smile and say, "I dunno...whatever you want."

So I stand around in a mega-herd-mart, surrounded by the crush of people who obviously have gifts and a sense of purpose. Underwear? Music? Technology?! Musical electronic underwear? Yeah, there you go...a rough looking Marine purchasing a pair of pink panties that play "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" whenever you push a button. Yep...certainly a gift worth giving. Who wears that stuff anyways?! I mean honestly! You wear those to work, sit down in a meeting, and suddenly your ass gets it's Christmas groove on.

The gift-giving aside, I've gotta also get ready for Little Dude's fifth birthday party. We're gonna be celebrating it this Sunday. Loaded up on Hot Wheels products and are going to have a good party at his grandparents house. Should be fun. I'll post some pics on it tomorrow. Well shoot, I'm fresh outta home-made peanut butter cookies, and my coffee has grown lukewarm. I'll catch you all later.

Thanks a bunch for stopping in and hope you come back soon!

2006-12-11T05:20:00.000-08:00

Illness...

Yep...got me a case of the strep. Ever since Friday I've been stuck with a fever, sore throat, and body aches.

Didn't even want to move this whole weekend. Of course I had to, since there needed to be some Christmas shopping done. Hauled my shivering ass outta the house numerous times to walk around various stores to shop for presents. Probably why I'm still sick today. Didn't take much time to actually rest, and when I tried, there was either Little Dude trying to keep me awake, or the wife getting angry at me for trying to sleep.

I'll get better.

Eventually.

See you all when I'm healthy.

2006-12-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

Mental Conversation...

Hey you, how you doin?

Sick.

Again?

Yeah. Feeling a fever coming on. Really cold.

Ah...I see.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

You ever think about what's going on back on the reservation?

I try not to. Why? Something on your mind?

Yeah. Something happened recently to remind me of that hell-hole.

Care to share?

Not really. Let's just say that someone reminded me what kind of people live there.

Ah...that bad eh?

Yep.

Bastards...

Yep.

Well, on the up-side, while they're wallowing in their racist half-literate rants...you can go to a nice warm home after a day at your well-paying job and be greeted by your loving family.

True...

Fuggem. That's what I say. If you can succeed in this world, so can they. They just haven't tried hard enough.

Yeah, you may be right. But what sucks is that if they weren't so caustic and small-minded, I'd go back in a heartbeat to help my tribe.

Well they are. And you having a lighter shade of skin than them doesn't help any.

*sigh* I guess so. Pity...we're capable of so much greatness...

Reminds me of a Winston Churchill quote I heard once..."Responsibility is the price of greatness"...

Then perhaps greatness as a tribal nation is just too expensive for my people...

Just live your life. Let them live theirs.

You're right...sadly....you are right...

2006-12-06T05:13:00.000-08:00

O' Christmas Tree...

Shortly after Thanksgiving, residents of the fortress put up our artificial Christmas tree. The wife and I decorated it, keeping in mind that this is the first holiday with PFC Shadow. The following series of pictures shows what happened....

The first day. Beautiful isn't it?

...and then we caught him doing this (Day 2)...

...notice how the ornaments are slowly migrating upward? (Day 4)

...messed up garland. Oh...can you spot kitty? (Day 5)

And now we have our crappy tree. (Yesterday) Thanks to the damn cat. See those presents? Yeah they have chew marks on them. Yay Christmas!

Next year it's Festivus for the rest of us!

2006-11-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

The Days After...

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. Turkey cooked and eaten, leftovers filling the fridge for future meals, and the mad rush to save money on Christmas shopping has begun.

There's so much I'd like to talk to you about on here today, but I can't really put them into words. Bummer. Let's just cover the major topics quickly and I'll let you be on your way. No sense in keeping you here longer than you want.

Okay, first thing. You remember a couple of posts ago, I was bitchin up a storm about the lousy service at Perkins? Well, the day after I ate there, I went to the website and filled out a customer comment and submitted it. A day later, I received a phone call from the manager asking what he could do to keep my business there. I see that the piss-poor service may have been a fluke...or at least the management levels are trying to keep things in order. Be that as it may, they have the explanation in the form I filled out. Let them hash it out. I'll decide in the future if I'll return or not.

Also, as a complete antithesis of the Perkins Restaurant, we tried a mom and pop restaurant called the "Park Ridge Cafe". Damn these guys are good. Even on a busy day, we were greeted at the door with a smile, and seated immediately. Served water and menus SECONDS after we were seated, and had our drinks ordered and received within two minutes of arriving. Everywhere you looked you saw happy patrons, and the waitstaff treating every customer like a member of the family. The place just had a good vibe about it. Outstanding all the way around. The food was excellent, arrived quickly, and was served by a lady who knew how to treat the customers she was serving.

Alright it looks like I've spent too much time writing about those two eating establishments. I'll catch you on the flip-side to elaborate further on other topics. See you later.

2006-11-23T06:13:00.000-08:00

GOBBLES!

Happy Thanksgiving readers. Hope you enjoy the football, the family, the friends, and of course, the food!

Have fun and be safe out there.

See you when it's all over.

2006-11-20T06:22:00.000-08:00

Service...

Generally, what comes to your mind when you think of good service at a restaurant? Seated quickly? Friendly waitstaff? Drinks first, then order? Does your soup or salad arrive quickly, followed by your entree? Is your meal still hot when it's served? If you've answered yes to all of the above questions, then you're of the same mind as myself. Congrats.

Last night, my family went to a local restaurant for a nice quiet dinner out. Read the following scenario, and tell me...am I expecting too much here or did I get a snub?
The place: Perkins Restaurant
The time: Entry at 5:45PM, seated immediately
Crowd: 4 out of approximately 30 tables filled

Situation: We walked into the restaurant at the same time as a mother and her young daughter. Being the first to enter, we were seated first. I was shocked that there weren't more people at this place, considering the day and time. Shrugging my shoulders we sat down, and began glancing at the menu. Our hostess walked away without saying a word. Hmmm....okay...it's a good thing I looked at the board on my way in.

About seven or eight minutes later, a young lady comes to our table. By this time, we've already had enough time to decide exactly what we wanted. She chuckles and says, "Sorry about the wait, you want your drinks or do you know what you want?" I look to my wife and tell her that we're ready to order. I get a dinner...my wife a breakfast. Little dude just wanted something to drink, so I order his along with ours. Remembering the board, I order a small cup of soup to share with the wife.

She walks away, and my wife and I start a conversation. I happen to look across the room and see the woman who walked in with her daughter after us, being brought their appetizers already. Holy crap, that was fast! I mention that to my wife, and patiently wait...and wait...and wait... Finally, the girl brings out our drinks. Sheesh, nothing like an 8 minute wait just for a couple of Cokes.
Total time so far: 15 minutes and we've just got our drinks.

So, we sit and sip on our sodas for a bit. I look over at the other lady and she's happily eating her dinner already. I sigh and try to keep a stiff upper lip about it. Perhaps the waitress has another table she's waiting on... I look up and see her giggling and flirting with another employee up front. Nope...not busy. Another five minutes pass and still no food. A couple more people enter the restaurant, but over all it's still dead.

My son had to make a head call so I escort him to the mens room. Upon our return, I find that our food has arrived. I do a quick inventory of what I ordered...yep, there's my soup for the wife and I...where's my salad? Why'd everything get brought at once?! Dammit! I look up and ask my wife, "She didn't say anything about my salad did she?" Denise gives me that look that says "you're kidding me!" Oh yeah...this is turning out to be a great dinner...

So, I resign myself to eating my dinner. Food is food, no matter how late. I take a spoonful of the soup...and it's frickin cold! What...the...@&#!? By this time I'm already getting a little pissed off. Maybe I'll say something when the girl returns. Maybe not...I dunno, I just want to get outta there. I eat my food and try my best to make a good situation out of a bad one. Finally, about 15 minutes later, the waitress returns to our table to see if we need anything else.

The wife asks if I was supposed to get my salad before our meal. To my surprise the girl laughs at us and says, "Oh yeah! Oops! Yeah he was...you want a piece of pie or something? I feel so guilty" *another laugh*

I look down...trying to contain my anger at this vapid excuse of an employee..."No...thank you...I'm fine..."

"Okay...are you sure? I can put it in a to-go box for you!" Oh geee...you can? Thanks.

"No I'm good, thank you." I tried my hardest to sound calm and rational. The dinner quickly turning sour. Jesus, if I left anything up to this girl, she'll put it upside down in a paper bag for me.

The wife and I decide to just finish our meals, pay, and leave. Only one thing...the fugging air head didn't bring us our check! We waited for another ten minutes before that brat brought our check to us. No explanation...nothing. Just a reminder that I could get a piece of frickin pie on my way out. Keep your fugging pie girl, and get some frickin training on your job!

As soon as we got the check we left. No tip. That's it...end of story.

Time we left: 6:45PM

So what do you think? Am I over-reacting or did the service just suck that bad? I'm thinking the latter. An important note for anyone out there in the Stevens Point area...stay away from the Perkins Restaurant! Unless, of course, you're into poorly-trained air heads, long waits, and cold food. If you are, then that's the place to go. If not, find another place to spend your money. There are plenty of other outstanding establishments out there.

If you don't want to give it all up completely, at least wait until the college year is done with. Service on a community-wide level seems to increase when all the dorm-rats go home to mommy and daddy. But then again, these are just my feelings. Take them as you will.

2006-11-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

Quiz...

Hat tip to the ever-outstanding T1G of Drunken Wisdom...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
The Inland North
Boston
North Central
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Which is really strange, considering I grew up on the Reservation in Montana...

There were no questions about "Chaw", "Ennett", and my favorite, "Heh-seh-vuh!" Bummer.

2006-11-15T05:19:00.000-08:00

Buy Me...

It's 7:13 in the morning, I've got a cup of cheap coffee, a half day of work, and a trip to the dentist...let's move...

And so begins another day in the life of James. A boring half-breed with an equally boring life.

Hi there.

The fact that you're reading this means one of two things. The first is that you're a loyal reader who's stopped in out of sheer curiosity on what I've put on here. The other is that you've found my site using some random search engine looking for the no-cd patch or my recipe for Indian Tacos. Either way, welcome to my hole in the webiverse.

Did you know that I've been doing this site for over three years now? Heh...and I still haven't attracted additional users. Perfect. It's not like I have any insight into anything. No adventures, no travels, no lessons learned to pass on, no loved one in the war, no family members that are ill. Just small comments and opinions of one rather forgettable individual. Hell if the internet was a grocery store, my site would be the duct tape display.

Useful in it's own way, but virtually ignored by everyone who doesn't actually seek it out. I mean really...when you go grocery shopping, how many times have you stopped in where they sell that stuff? Yeah, I have cereal, chips, meat, and...um...cheap work gloves.... Nope, ain't happening.

So what exactly am I saying here? Am I complaining? Whining? Both? Heh...actually I'm taking great pride in the fact that I'm so obscure! It allows me to express my feelings in a clear and honest manner. That's all I'm saying. So enjoy your trip to the utility section of the Blogosphere's Grocery Store. Don't forget to pick up some old string, a bottle of "Goo-be-Gone", and a random hinge. Cause if you don't, some cranky old man with a flannel hat will.

Have a good one.

2006-11-10T05:14:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 231st BIRTHDAY MARINES!!!

Two-hundred and thirty-one years ago, my beloved Marine Corps was born in a dirty tavern in Philadelphia. Since that time we outstanding patriots have been kicking ass and taking names in the air, on land and sea.

So raise your glass and give a drink to the fighting sons-a-bitches worldwide.

OOH-RAH you magnificent bastards and Semper Fidelis!

2006-11-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

Mental Conversation...

Holy crap! Where the hell were you?!

Thinking...

About what? I was starting to get worried about you.

You know...stuff. Life...directions and all that.

I wouldn't worry about things like that. You'll only stress yourself out.

But haven't you ever wondered if THIS is what you wanted with your life?

You mean having a loving family with the basic comforts covered? If so then...umm...yeah.

Perhaps that's what you wanted...I wanted adventure, to have a purpose that benefited everyone, to see the world!

But didn't you already have all that?

Feh! I did until you came along and took over. Then I went from motivated Marine to hen-pecked husband.

All about perspective Corporal. Where you see a hen-pecked husband, I see a decent man raising a family the best he can. I could just as easily look at you and see a womanizing self-centered brute.

True...true...but you gotta admit one thing...

What's that?

We looked DAMN good in our dress blues!

True....so tell me...what brought on all these deep thoughts of yours?

Just growing up my friend....just growing up.

Ah I see....well...um....good luck...

2006-11-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

Waiting....

I don't know bout you readers, but I am anxiously awaiting another entry. I find myself thinking "What will he blog about next?" Maybe he will blog about the new craft store that will be opening up soon. Perhaps it will be his experience at Bio last night. Perhaps it will be something work related. Maybe even something about LilDude. Even better would be LilDude at Halloween.

Anyway, just wanted to stop in and leave a few words for y'all to read.

2006-10-23T05:27:00.000-07:00

Mind Changing...

Okay, as most of you know, I live in Central Wisconsin...Stevens Point to be specific. About as close to the middle of the state as you can get. A small all-American University town that boasts activism and "tolerance". I also live in what pundits call a "blue state". Which, as you may know, is primarily liberal/democrat. Okay...got the intro out of the way. Now let me tell you what's on my mind this morning.

Lately, the airwaves and press have been going crazy over the upcoming vote this November. There are several hot-button items on the ballot. One of them being the proposed amendment to the state Constitution to redefine marriage. Here's the proposal in it's entirety on what's being voted for:

"Marriage. Shall section 13 of article XIII of the constitution be created to provide that only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state and that a legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state?"

So that would appear to be one of the biggest issues facing Wisconsin voters this November. As such, you see signs encouraging people to vote "no" on this. Signs EVERYWHERE. Since this is a University town, the "liberal" LGBT community and student activists are going out en masse and trying to convince everyone that the proposed amendment will hurt more than just the gay community. They want freedom and equality for all...at least that's what they say.

Just this last weekend, while driving to the market with my family, I happened to notice one of the few "Vote Yes" signs on a yard. On this sign, someone had spray-painted a neon orange swastika on it. What...the...hell.... Everyone driving through our town was greeted to a swastika on a friggin political sign. Yeah, real great job showing the world how "tolerant" you are of anyone who disagrees with you. Buncha friggin hypocrites if you ask me.

So...the "Vote No" community has shown their true colors. Fantastic. As an undecided voter, I was waiting for information from both sides to make my final decision. Seeing that swastika on that sign made my mind up for me. I will now vote yes on the amendment. Why?

Well from the no side of the house we were given several scare tactics. Of course the gay community played the "I can't see my partner in the hospital" or "I won't be able to live off his/her pensions" cards. Then the "Fair Wisconsin" site hypes the fear even further with examples of this "far reaching" ban.

From the "yes" side of the house? Well the "Vote Yes for Marriage" site simply offers up common-sense answers to the questions. That's it. No fear-mongering. No use of a top ten list on why they'll win. Finally...nowhere on the site does it use the term "foot soldiers" to define their volunteers.

You take a look at both sides and tell me which is the more radical site? Which one is using intimidation and scare tactics? Which one actually welcomes the undecided voter and attempts to give them a clear picture? From my perspective, the Vote No community practices the very extremism they claim to fight.

So...what does yours truly think? Quite simply, I believe that the idea of marriage should be a sacred bond between a man and a woman. That's it. Simple. As such, when you are married you should be entitled to the benefits allowed by law for married couples. Just because some guy likes getting sexually fulfilled by allowing something to enter his anus, or because some lady has an aversion to the penis, that does NOT mean they are entitled the same privileges of being married.

They all cry about not having equal rights. News flash people, you DO have equal rights when it comes to marriage. You can all choose to find a spouse and marry them. That is your right. Justifying your sexual fetish by rewarding it with special treatment is NOT a right. In fact, it gives the LGBT community ADDITIONAL rights and thus nullifies the idea of equality. Simply stepping up and demanding you and your partner to be married opens up the door for the next sexual minority.

What's next? If we can easily throw out the mandate that a marriage is between a man and a woman, and replace it with "two individuals", what's next? "Two beings"? "Two Items"? I guess the old schoolyard insult of "If you like it so much, why not marry it?" carries a little more weight in our politically correct society.

But then again, those are just my views. For you Wisconsin residents, take a look at the two sites listed above. Make your own decision. I've made mine based on facts, reaction to extremism, and common sense.

2006-10-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

Quotes From the Fortress

"Yeah, cause nobody hears about the 'Great Bearded Indian'"

"We must support the Zimbabwean Pancake Industry!"

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FART SO LOUD!?" (in a crowded Wal-Mart)

"Thank you my beautiful Dad"

"With a garage THAT sucky, we deserve a craptastic stove"

"Hey! Stop eating the damn cardboard box!"

"Cause nothing says sexy like a diseased one-eyed woman with no values"

"AAAHHHGH! CAT......that was AWESOME!!!"

"holycrudholycrudholycrudholycrudholycrud!"

"Aww...and here I went and shaved my legs just for you!"

"Omigosh...the Weather Channel said we're getting tomatoes!"

"They didn't say tomatoes...they said tornados."

"Yeah, that's what I said...tomatoes."

"Aw crap, why'd you bite me?!"

"I think I look like Mrs. Beasley..." (the doll from A Family Affair)

"I've got the buns...now I just need a huuuuge gun!"

"If he wanted to help an African with AIDS, he should at least buy him a damn cheeseburger first!"

2006-10-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

Greetings...

Um...hey there reader...how you doing?

Long time no see eh...

So uh...whatcha doing here? There ain't been nothing posted here in a looooong time.

Sorta makes you wonder if I'm giving this thing up.

Naw, I wouldn't do that to you. I love your eyeballs too much.

So...umm...look around...read some archives...chill...do whatever it is you're doing on the other side of the screen.

I'll be seeing you around! Thanks for stopping in.

2006-10-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

Watching...

I was out on my smoke break today enjoying the warm weather we've been having...

Suddenly I hear a rather loud series of chirps and squeaks coming from the bush about 10 feet away.

I look up and see the plants rustling about violently. Then...two chipmunks come flying out straight towards me...fighting!

Now I'm not talking about a simple chipmunk fight. I'm talking all out gladiatorial-chipmunk battle to the death. These furry freaks were tearing each other apart.

I couldn't help but watch and smile.

Only later did I wonder...what WERE they fighting about?

2006-09-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

The Dance...

With the low throbbing of the European techno music filling the background, the man slowly walks onto the floor...

Taking a deep breath, he waits for the perfect moment to move. A slow graceful weave, he begins to take calculated steps to the music....

Head held high, he looks to the others around him. They're moving fast, too jerky for his taste...uncontrolled...

Soon, he's the only one remaining on the floor...the others having not been good enough to stay...

His arms move with a purpose...almost as if they already know what they have to do...his moves are fluid...

The tempo increases...as does the action. Hitting the floor numerous times...rolling occasionally...feeling the exhilaration as he leaps into the air...

He knows he's untouchable...

The song ends and silence envelopes his world...a new song will start in a few moments...

The man moves off to the side, blending into the surroundings...he's pleased with his performance...
As the music begins anew, a smile breaks his normally serious facade...he watches from the shadows, a rival dancer begin proving himself...

With a deep sigh...he concentrates on the newcomers movements...memorizing all he sees...soon he knows exactly what moves the stranger will make...

He whispers a small word of encouragement to himself as he rises from hiding to challenge...

He brings his sights up on the newcomer and pulls the trigger...the man in front of him falls to the floor...the dancer's puppet strings have been cut...he lays there for a few seconds motionless...then vanishes without a trace...

The man moves to another floor...eager to dance again...eager to find another challenger...

Yes...Silent's playing Joint Operations online again...heh heh heh...

2006-09-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

Testing...1-2-3...

On the laptop...Windows Vista Ultimate Edition. Beta testing for future use. Overall impression: Not so good. Too many bugs that haven't been worked out yet. I'm sure with time it'll work fine. But right now, stick to XP.

On the PC...Windows Office 2007 Beta. Whoah! Damn if they didn't try to make it look all "futuristic". Too bad they "futuristic'd" their way out of usability.

On the server...Windows Security Center 2007. Prequel to the upcoming SMS 2003 replacement. One word comes to mind..."outstanding".

Been lucky enough to have time to play around with these pre-public items. Perks of being a PC Tech I guess. Oh well.

So that's what I've been doing lately. Drivers, updates, incompatibilities, headaches, and a "Commando Bear 2000". Just letting you all know.

2006-09-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Mental Conversation...

Gah!!

What's wrong?!

I got a friggin splinter!

Oh you pansy, here I thought you broke your leg or something.

No, but I just spilled coffee on it and it hurts.

Well...pull it out genius.

I can't, it's too deep in there...

Heh heh heh...

What's so funny?!

Nothing, never mind. So, you try using a needle and digging it out?

Not yet. I don't like pain and that just causes more.

Here...let me try...let's use this dull thumbtack...

DAYUM! You trying to impale my fingertip?!

Alright, it's out, and only a small crater tore out.

Great, now instead of a small annoyance, I now have an actual flesh wound.

Self, self, self...when are you ever going to learn-

That chicks dig injuries?

*ahem* Um...no...what I was going to say was that when are you ever going to learn that it's best to not complain about the small crap.

True...true...

So next time, suck it up and take care of it yourself.

You got it!

...

...

Is he gone? *whew*....sonofabitch...that hurt...

2006-09-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

Ich bin der Papst!

Okay, this morning I was reading the news as usual and came across an article on CNN. You can read it HERE.

It has to do with what the Pope said during a speech at Regensburg University in Bavaria. Here's an excerpt from the article linked above:

Citing historic Christian commentary on holy war and forced conversion, the 79-year-old pontiff quoted from a 14th-century Byzantine emperor, Manuel II Paleologos.

"The emperor comes to speak about the issue of jihad, holy war," the pope said. "He said, I quote, 'Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.' "

Clearly aware of the sensitivity of the issue, Benedict added, "I quote," twice before pronouncing the phrases on Islam and described them as "brusque," while neither explicitly agreeing with nor repudiating them.

"The emperor goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable," Benedict said.

"Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul," the pope said, issuing an open invitation to dialogue among cultures.

So essentially, the Pope says that forcing a person to convert to your religion by force, or threat of force is against the nature of God. Hmm...a pretty peaceful message if you ask me. A message punctuated by the historical mistrust of Islam from medieval Catholicism. The world's reaction to that message? Read the article HERE.

So the Islamic side of the house says that "The attribution of the spread of Islam around the world to the shedding of blood and violence, which is 'incompatible with the nature of God' is a complete distortion of the facts, which shows deep ignorance of Islam and Islamic history"

What a crock of $hit! When was the last time you heard a Catholic leader request to his followers to die a glorious death in the name of their religion? Or to bring death upon the heads of all non-believers? Or encourage the severe punishment of women who appear in public without a hijab? For the Islamic world to be outraged at the Pope's statement is hypocrisy at it's best.

All the pontiff was saying was that...well...to quote another cartoonish pansy... "violence is bad..mmmmkay? You shouldn't be violent cause violence is bad....mmmmkay..."

So what if he "insulted" the friggin prophet Mohammed?! Cripes they burn the place down if you talk about him, draw him, think bad things about him...whatever! You do...then all of a sudden you see reports of riots, gun fights, bombings, and suicide crap. Yeah, when offended...the "religion of peace" sure shows it's true colors.

Please forgive me in not feeling bad about what the pope said in his speech. In fact, if more leaders of the world pulled the Islamic punk card, then perhaps the burden of proof for being a "religion of peace" will be once more on Islamic shoulders. You want to be one? Prove it! Tell your zealots to stop blowing $hit up at the drop of a turban!

Maybe it's just my inner crusader coming out or something. But when I see the various Muslim leaders calling for action from their followers, and seeing that action put into place. (no matter how stupid or violent) I have to look to our side. Where are our charismatic religious leaders?! No, I'm not talking about some pompous white guy down south simply declaring they must be saved by monetary donations, or a black pseudo-reverend turning everything into a race issue. Where is our Al-Sistani...our Ayatollah Khomeini...people who believe in their religion so fervently, that they inspire the general populace to follow them?

Wouldn't it be nice to have a Catholic or Protestant leader give our country's Christian population a guiding voice? One who not only preaches the word, but FOLLOWS it as well. Now I'm not saying that I'm asking for a theocracy or anything. I'm just wishing that we as a civilization could rally behind something higher than petty political borders or hatred towards one person or belief. Right now, we see the Islamic world rallying behind their religious leaders. Do we rally behind the Pope? Why not? Who would you rally behind? What kind of person would you leave work for and take to the streets to support?

Questions I ask myself time and time again when I watch footage of the rallys, protests, and riots on the other side of the world. I see their passion and wonder...where has our passion gone?

2006-09-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

An End to a Season...

Well it's a foggy morning here in the land of Catholics, beer, and cheese. Everything humming as it should. The Packers still suck, all the FIBs are leaving for the season, school is in session for the kids...as well as the larger kids known as "college students", and the temperatures are dropping. To quote the mega-food clown monster..."I'm lovin' it".

But for some reason, I can't help but feel that I could have done so much more with my time this summer. There were so many plans I wanted to act on, but didn't. Probably because this would appear to be the year that everything was either broken or replaced by something new.

New television, new hard drive on the computer, new air conditioner, new door on the house, new cat.... All of these things cost money. Of course that money comes out of our pocket and makes us unable to do other, more constructive projects. Being that many of the expenses this summer were optional, I have nobody to blame but myself.

On the other hand, I finally managed to pay off my "War Pony"! Friggin-eh, that's awesome! No more car payments. Now I can say, "Yeah, she's a squealing metal death-trap...but she's MY squealing metal death-trap!

So now with one major bill relegated to the dustbin of my history, I can look forward to another! Naw...I'm just worrying about this coming winter. If last season was any indicator, I'm going to be paying at least a $1,000 in heating expenses this winter. Grrr... I guess with each season, comes a new set of worries and regrets. I don't know. On the whole I guess this last season was pretty good. A war with FART, a new cat, Little Dude with wheels, a flaming mouse, a great garden, a drunken stupor up-north...yeah...Summer 2006 will be remembered fondly...

Oh, before I take off...I wanted to show you an article that I found pretty funny. Especially how it relates to my "Mental Conversations".

You can read it here: ARTICLE

Well folks, time for me to run. Thanks for stopping in.

2006-09-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Out With The Old, In With The New

Its been an "out with the old, in with the new" kind of week here at the fortress. Last week, Silent decided to clean out the basement and came across A chair from an old dining room set I had. He figured he'd put it out by the road with a FREE sign on it. I had to point out to him that there was ANOTHER chair on the porch from the same set.

I grow attached to items. I know. Material items. But I still get attached. Well, I told Silent to just go ahead and put them both at the end of the road, realizing that he was just trying to get rid of clutter. I was heartbroken as our next door neighbor, John, the slow talker, sniffed out the FREE sign and snatched up both chairs before they even hit the grass. Out with the old. *sigh*

Last night, Silent's beloved television died. Oh, we KNEW it was coming. It was just a matter of WHEN. Last night it finally died. There was a small ceremony for said television as we headed out the door at 8:15pm in search of a replacement. Yes, the fortress is now furnished with a new 27 inch flat screen digital television. Silent is so happy. In with the new.

2006-09-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

Best Day Ever

I had off from work yesterday. Sometimes I will take a day off just for my mental health. Being a receptionist and dealing with people day in and day out, sometimes one needs a day to rejuvinate and come back to work with a whole new perspective. That was my Friday.

My day:

6am - Woke up. (normal wake up is 4:15-4:45am)
6-6:45 - Played with family
6:45- Sent Lil Dude and Silent out the door with kisses
7am - Checked email and drank a cup of coffee
7:15 - Jumped in shower
7:30 - Dressed
7:40 - Out the door to do grocery shopping
8:20 - Return home and put groceries away
8:40 - Back out the door to run to make mortgage payment
9:00 - Stop at Kmart
9:15 - Stop at work for money
9:30 - Hair appt (highlight and cut)
10:45 - Home and making lunch
11:10 - Silent comes home for lunch
12:30 - Send Silent back to work, and leave house to run to Kohls
12:40 - While driving I pass my good friends house and see her car in the driveway. Turn around and give her 3 hugs and do a brief chat.
12:50 - Kohls to scour the clearance racks
2:10 - Call oldest daughter and invite her for iced coffee
2:25 - Arrive at Dairy Queen for MooLattes
2:30 - 3:20 - Catch up with daughter on her life, boyfriend, and school
3:30 - Pick up Action Girl from school
3:45 - Pick up Lil Dude from Daycare
4:00 - Arrive home to see Silent putting on his apron
4:30 - Eat homemade spaghetti ala Silent
5- 7pm - Enjoy life
7:30 - Begin to fall asleep on couch
8pm - Head to bed and lights out at 8:30pm

A wonderful fun filled mental health day!!!!!!

2006-09-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

Sides of the Mind...

Okay, a couple of people that read my site asked me the same question.

"When you do your Mental Conversations, is that really what goes on in your mind?"

The short answer is...yes. I simply write down what my mind is saying at the time.

I appear to have two distinct personalities struggling for control of my actions. One is the "inner-NCO" left over from my Marine Corps days. The one that hates all things unsat, doesn't speak to anyone, and would rather the world simply leave him to do his job.

The other side of the coin is the civilian dad that I'm becoming. The guy that tries to be funny, spontaneous, and relaxed. Instead of strict mental and physical discipline, he tries to enjoy the moment of life for what it is. The one that notices the beauty of the world, and the glory that is current civilized life.

For the most part, these two distinct personalities discuss everything that my eyes come in contact with. Sort of like two best friends watching a television show they neither like nor dislike. So there you have it. My two minds. For those of you who know me...you'll probably notice which one takes control when you meet me next.

Heh heh heh...

2006-09-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

Mental Conversation...

Hey self...

Hi there! Long time no see.

Yeah, didn't really feel like chatting with you.

Bummer. This site hasn't been updated without you.

I know, I know.

So what's up?

Eh...just feeling blah and non-vocal lately.

That's not like you. You taking up my bit now?

Naw. It's just that with life going so well, I don't need to voice my opinions on things as much.

Well that's great for you...but...

But what?

What about your readers? Your loyal devoted readers that come here looking for a smirk and a glimpse of you?

Hmmm...you're right. I do owe it to my beloved fans to keep this site updated.

Yeah you do. What will they do without you offering your brilliant insight into all things mundane?

I guess...um...find another mediocre blogger out there to fill their needs?

Bah! They come here for your words. Give them your words dammit!

*sigh* You're right self. After all, I do love those magnificent bastards...

That's the spirit! Now give them a post to remember!

Hell yeah!!!

Whoo hoo! This'll be awesome!

...

...?

...!

...!?

...

...you...so...totally...suck...

2006-08-29T16:59:00.000-07:00

He's Got Wheels...

As you read from my wife's post, we've just purchased Little Dude his first bike. A little red Huffy "Rock It" bike with training wheels...

It's been a pure joy watching him take these steps towards growing up. Part of me wants him to stop, come running back to snuggle with me while watching Teletubbies, and giggling wildly when tickled. Even if for a little bit... But, as kids have a tendency to do...they start getting older.

I walk behind him while circling the block for the umpteenth time with a content smile on my face. Each lap accompanied with his questions of the world around him. "What's that!?" "Why they doing that?" "When will I get my little wheels off?" "When will I be as big as you daddy?"

With daring turns and quick breaking, each lap takes me closer to the revelation that my Little Dude will never be as little as I want him to be. But...I realize that my love for him has grown just as much as he has...if not more.

So here he is...our pride and joy with his new wheels...

2006-08-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

Baby's Got A New Set of Wheels

Little Dude has got his first new set of wheels. A big boy bike with training wheels. He is tickled pink. I'll have Silent post a picture.

2006-08-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Meeting the Past...

Strange thing happened a few minutes ago... I opened my Yahoo Messenger to clear out some spam like always. Usually I look at the mail indicator, click on it, delete the messages, and shut the program down. Only this time...I noticed something was different...

One of my Marines was online...the one currently deployed to Afghanistan...

Holy friggin crap!

It was all I could do to keep myself from double-clicking his handle to shoot him off a message. I wanted to know everything! What he was doing, how he was holding up, what the place looked like, was he hungry? In danger? Images of this guy flashed in my my mind...

This was the kid I used to supervise as his NCO in Japan. A bookish kid fresh outta high school, on his first duty station...lean and sorta awkward. One look at him and his squared-away uniform and I knew he was gonna be one hell of a Marine. We hit it off immediately, and I took him under my wing. Showing him everything I could think of in terms of Fleet life, Japanese culture, and discussions on philosophy over morning coffee after the graveyard shift. In short, he was the little brother I never had. I would have given my life in an instant to protect him....

However, that was many years ago. Time has a way of drifting people apart. After a year in Japan, we both went our separate ways. Oh sure, we kept in touch here and there...but we both moved on. Him with his marriage and military career, mine with my adventures in civilian life. It was several weeks before he was deployed to Afghanistan, when we connected after several years of silence. The kid, the little brother I remembered, had grown into a great leader of Marines!

I knew that if he was online, he'd be chatting with his wife and child back home. Precious time that should not be wasted on one such as myself. With a small smile on my face, I prep to close my Messenger.

Then...a familiar "brrrrinng!" sounded on my speakers! I see the flashing notification on my taskbar...my friend, the noble Marine overseas, was wishing to speak with me...

With memories of a past life rushing to the forefront of my mind, I click on the message to speak once more with my old friend...